Does their treachery know no bounds?
By AlDamn Tesco and their imperialistic treachery! Tesco once again strive to kick me in the face nearly 9 months after they fired me. That’s right - 9 months! I could have had a baby in that amount of time!!! Well, okay, it’s not really that possible without the aid of a woman, I know, but I’m sure adoption papers could have cleared by that point. And do you know what I could do with a whole group of adopted children? That’s right - use them to train my minion army which someday I will have and unleash upon Tesco muahahahaha. 
I just wish their cookies didn’t taste so good..! 
Anyways, I went to Tesco tonight after my rehearsal. I bought lots of wonderful things but there were two problems.
1) They were out of Shloer. I know that it’s a possibility due to the fact that Shloer is one of the nicest drinks ever to exist, but personally I think that they should have a backup emergency supply for people who suffer from Shloer-addiction.
2) I went to the counter with all my wonderful things. I put my wonderful things on the counter. The lady swiped them past the barcode scanner and all my wonderful things went beep beep beep beep beep. And then I paid for my wonderful things (I’m good like that). But then I was also given a lovely surprise.
“There’s a voucher there with your receipt that you can use”, the lady said.
I was thrilled to bits. I got a voucher. That means free stuff. Or money off stuff. That could mean a whole new bottle of Shloer for me upon my next visit for free!!! I was so excited. But when I got home I discovered something shocking…
**50 EXTRA POINTS**
When you buy any
Macleans 100ml
(excludes Milk Teeth Range)
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! 
They tease me by removing my shloer, then providing me with the hope of free shloer, and then slap me in the face with a voucher that will give me 50 points if I buy some toothpaste. What the hell do I want with points? I don’t even get the points - my dad does! And 50 points aren’t even enough to fill up a shot-glass with shloer! And what’s worse is that I just bought a load of toothpaste LAST WEEK!
If I’d have read the voucher before I got home I would definately have pointed agressively at Tesco.
Repeatedly.
I am not happy!
August 24th, 2005 at 12:55 am
OMG So all your getting is a not so free Macleans and a swig of kinda money cant buy Shloer!? But hey, what a combination al. You have your Shloer, which i know you have more than a shot of a night. Then you brush your teeth with macleans. I mean how dentally hygienic (thanks al) are Tesco! No wonder there sales have boomed. All those dentist obviously love the 50 Point system, i think that voucher is made specifically for dentists.
And as for cookies. Damn there so good. But i doubt they beat the delicious chocky goodness of the cookies from somerfield. Ohh my mouth melts like ice cream on a tripod.
But hey, you gotta admit. And I’m sure ad will agree, ICELAND RULES!! 4 Rolo ice creams for £1! What a deal!
How did your rehearsal go al?
August 24th, 2005 at 12:59 am
Rehearsal was really great cheers. By “great”, I mean funny, not actually good. No-one knew their cues and it was all a big big mess. Some people were stealing other people’s lines aswell.
It’s a shame that you can’t get outtakes when it comes to theatre.
August 24th, 2005 at 1:04 am
Damn theifs! I mean, get your own lines. Next time you go rehearsal you should really take a bottle or five, of shloer…to ease the mood a bit. I imagine it could get a bit tense.
Oo oo, and if that doesnt work, dress as a gay genie like in the extras. And perform to humour deprived children, works a treat.
Smiley time:
August 24th, 2005 at 12:11 pm
Hehe, trust me - the mood was very relaxed - it wasn’t tense at all. We were all rolling around with laughter - it was hilarious.
But still… any excuse for Shloer is a good excuse, so… yeah, it was terrible. Couldn’t bare the strain of it all….
August 24th, 2005 at 12:49 pm
lol. My Mum gets my points. ‘I have too many legs!’
August 24th, 2005 at 2:10 pm
mmmmmmmm, i like tescos cookies
August 24th, 2005 at 10:15 pm
Oh daintygnu. I had the same problem! Too many legs. Who would of thought what a pain it is haveing more than 2 legs. I always found hacksaws worked the best
oo, oo, i love this one…
August 25th, 2005 at 2:51 pm
i dont know where i am