Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, just when I thought I was perhaps getting out of my clumsy phase, it did. Todays shift at work ended in me leaning over and then falling onto my desk, with the result being it snapping in two, literally! It even heavily scratched the top of my computer (note: case is metal) aswell as my leg. And my computer still isn’t working.

But during the past couple of days I’ve had to find any computer that’s free that I can use until I finally get mine sorted so that I can continue doing work. But today some kid sat on the computer next to me and randomly started talking about Sonic the Hedgehog. Then to my surprise I randomly started talking about Sonic aswell. Then he started going on about Sonic Advance, but I haven’t played Sonic Advance because the last Sega console I had was the MegaDrive/Genesis. So instead I started randomly talking about the original comic books. Then he randomly talked about the cartoon. And so did I. Then he went onto another cartoon which I never saw cos I don’t have any form of Digital TV. And then I managed to escape thanks to some other student with a computer problem. Some other kid called me “Back to the Future Boy” and the Men in Black kept going on about the bottomless pit that is my stomach.

They say that everytime they see me I’m half-way through eating food (and ironically they told me this whilst I was halfway through my tuna mayonaise sandwich), but yet I don’t put any weight on. Rob asked me “Where does it all go?” and all I could come up with was my feet? Just to give you an idea of how much food we’re talking, on Fridays a small group of us support staff get together for lunch. I had a bowl of pasta with tomato and basil and cheese, a jacket potato with tuna mayonaise, pizza, and a bowl of custard. It was a good meal. But anyway, considering how much I manage to eat and how easily I broke my desk, maybe I am actually fat, but manage to hide that fat through the art of illusion. Is it possible that there’s some sort of subspace field surrounding me? Some sort of electropudgy field? I don’t want to be a fat man in a thin man’s body – it’s way too cramped in here!