Hello everyone, my name is Dave. Before we start our little relationship online i would first like to say “Peanutbutterpumphernickleweinstein”. Now that that is out of the way, we can begin.

As I try to keep up with Al’s level of …..of….imaganation, i would like to say that things are going to be a little stranger around here. Of course this creative bar could be only raised by one other kind of person; a dumb-witted jew-bashing money-draining drinks-to-much American. Yes ladies and gentlemen, i am what people refer to as a Yank. Surprisingly I have no problems with this, after 7 years, it kind of doesnt bother me as a much as wanting to bash in their head with a dried up dead weasel who just ate a bunch of rocks as he thought he could swim back strokes to impress a girl weasel named Wanda, who he met at a “Love your weasel convention!!!!!!!!!!”

….but I’m avoiding the the titled subject of this entry.

Thursday night was abit of a boring night but i always still manage to have a giggle. I had just finished a long day at the office (I’m a telemarketer at a speacialist building materials company, dont laugh or i’ll call your house asking if you want a chimney shaft), and i was sitting down to the evening news and what i saw was just logical irony. Now it didnt actually happen this way but most stories Al tells are from a very “special” perspective, and you as the reader are going to get the jist of it a little easier.

(Newsman): “Welcome to the ITV News Report, its 7.00 o’clock. On tonight’s news, George Best’s family are being rushed to hospital to be with him after a very long night of lung complications and what seems to be his final hour. George Best is remember for his amazing and sometimes abnormal ability with the football and his never fading grace into the huge personality he was so commonly know for.

But tragically George Best was also know for being a long-term suffering alocoholic for many years and has written many books in which how he states he has wasted many good years drinking himself to the bottom of the barrel. Our sympthany goes out to the family and close friends of this timeless legend…of football. George Best…59…alcoholic. (Sniff)

Now on other news we go to John Gordon at Weatherspoons where there is important announment… John.

(John): ” I CANT FRIGGING BELIEVE IT PEOPLE,THEY PASSED THE 24 HOUR DRINKING BILL,EVERYONE IS GOING NUTS, 11:02, THE PINTS ARE STILL COMING, PEOPLE ARE COLLAPSING AND SURELY EVERY GIRL IS SAYING “HEY IM DRUNK, WHY NOT?” PARTY, PARTY, PARTY, YEAH….WHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!”

(Newsman): “John…????…. John….???Ummm…oh dear……

Ok,ok it didnt happen that way but really its funny the timing on that. I mean i wouldnt be surprised that Pubs will start calling it “The BEST TIMES”, drink 10 pints and get a free liver…if you can afford to pay off the doctors to give you one before the sick kids who have been waiting months….but that’s just mean and i swear im gonna get sued for this.

This entry was posted on Sunday, November 27th, 2005 at 1:59 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.