He’s gone. It’s over.

I am sad to report the death of a Rover Metro 1.1s, better known to many as “Tilt”. Following extensive damage to the front of Tilt, on Tuesday December 20th he was reluctantly sent to a scrap yard in his home town of Congleton, Cheshire. For a measly sodding £10.

Tilt was first registered on July 1st, 1994. He had one owner (who would later become the future-fianceé of my father) who used him for quick shopping trips into town (the car, not my dad – she didn’t know my dad at this point). A couple of years prior to being scrapped, Tilt was then replaced by a newer car and given to my dad as a temporary vehicle after his Proton broke down beyond repair. (This turned out not to be the case, as it was only a couple of months until he received a phone call from his insurance company who reported that his Proton had been involved in a car crash. Apparently scrap dealers at the time were running vehicle scams of some sort). Again, he was replaced and left in storage until the day that he would be called upon again. That day came in 2005 when he was given to me as a present off my father and his fiancé.

At this point, his hydrolastic suspension had leaked, therfore leaving him tilted to one side, hence his name.

I spent ages cleaning him, removing over 23 pens that were hidden in every nook and cranny (which explains why I could never find any sodding pens after lending them to my dad), I hoovered up inside, I did everything. I even removed the rust around the rear wheel rims with an electric drill with a sanding attachment and then replaced the corroded parts with filler. It was then that I learned a very valuable lesson; don’t take instructions literally if it requires an estimate on your part. My dad had said to me to “use more than you’d expect”. So I did. Apparently what I’d expect is the equivalent of 5 times more than what normal people would expect. Incidentally, it then took me about 3 days to sand it back down by hand and even then it was still bumpy.

And then the main modification went in place; his ‘Scanner’ light, reminiscent of the one on KITT on the TV series Knight Rider. This gave him more character than you’d realise, and what I believe to be the reason that he was the fastest metro to ever exist. Whilst most could reach 93mph if pushed hard enough, Tilt managed 110mph with no signs of giving up. (I gave up when I passed a speed camera).

A week after passing my test, one of his displacer units ruptured. Unlike his previous owners, I didn’t want to replace him with yet another vehicle. Tilt had grown on me, and I wasn’t going to give up on him that easily. Fortunately I managed to get him repaired by giving him a transplant from another metro.

And from that point on, everything was great (aside for getting clamped, having a huge nail puncturing the rear wheel and being hit by a Mini).

However, after the accident there was damage to the front end of Tilt. The shock hit the drivers side and the force went straight across the engine and over to the other side. All the oil leaked out and who knows what other damage was done to the engine. You can see photos of the damage after I managed to get Tilt back after he was impounded by the Police (aka legal-car-theft-bastards) from the Tilt Damage Gallery.

As much as I wanted to save him yet again, damage to the engine and framework is costly and could cause more problems later on. When you look at the photos in the gallery, take into account that he was hit on the side and then check out the damage on the opposite side… he’s worse than the above photo looks. Realising the extensive costs and future safety issues, I reluctantly agreed to send him to the big scrap yard in the sky. And the one in Congleton.

£10 my ass.

After pouring all the oil back into him, he was still drivable so I still got to give him a final journey. Not that his steering was much good mind. (To drive straight, the steering wheel had to be 45 degrees to the right). Even though the scrap dealer paid me sod all for him, tonight I used the £10 to buy chocolate and Shloer so that I could toast to his memory.

So here’s to Tilt; a good car, a good friend, and slightly tougher than a mini. He shall not be forgotten.

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