When I can’t sleep and I’m on my computer, I’m often found on irc. But with it being late at night, sometimes nobody chats, and when nobody chats my mind starts to wander.

At that point, I then find myself typing all sorts of stuff and before I know it, I’ve written lots of crazy talk at which point it’s too late. Plus then more crazy talk begins to follow. Here’s an example of the kind of crazy talk I end up doing….

Back: Away for 39mins 1sec
Away Deactivated: Auto Away reactivated
> Has anybody noticed that things happen and then you have to react to it?
> Like when you run out of oxygen?
> you then have to breath out and back in again to get some more….
> I hate breathing
> I think it sucks
> I wish there was a better way, like… breathing through osmosis
> If breathing could be done via the wonder of osmosis, I think that it would be one less thing to worry about
> or through a chicken!
> if you could somehow strap a chicken to your chest, and allow it to breath for you, and then transfer that oxygen via osmosis…. yeah, that could be good
> especially as then you’ve got yourself a really handy snack
> Your breathing aparatus would then be like a portable egg dispenser
> women should only be allowed hens though
> I’m not being sexist, but I don’t think that women should be allowed to breath through cockrels
> I just think it would be unfair for men if women were able to say that they had bigger cocks
> “My cock’s bigger than yours”
> See - it’s degrading
> and in this age of equality, women shouldn’t be sexist towards men even though men have been sexist towards women in the past
> it just doesn’t help anyone
> nor do land mines
> The worst thing you could do would be to be walking around a field with your osmosichicken and feel peckish
> You pull on it’s tail feathers and it drops an egg
> you sit down to prepare your egg
> and BOOM
> land mine goes off on your ass
> But imagine if you could transfer all that through osmosis again?
> Channel the heat through your body and out through your hands?
> then you could warm up your egg
>
> But if you didn’t have your osmosichicken, then you’d burn whatever else you were holding…. whether it be a beach ball, tv remote, small child, whatever - it would get burnt, which wouldn’t be good.
> Plus without the osmosichiken, you’d probably be dead
> So you see - lots of benefits with an Osmosichicken™
> for starters, you can breath
> it means you’ll never starve
> and it’s the perfect companion for all those lonely walks
> I just wish they would stop pooping everywhere….

So, erm, yeah…. Buy your own Osmosichicken™ today!

(Apparently I shouldn’t be allowed to be left alone, unsupervised. Ever.)

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 18th, 2006 at 2:57 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.