It’s the best, the nicest, the most wonderful fizzy drink that I have ever encountered. It is called Shloer and I love it.

But what have I done? I’ve gone and given it up for Lent, along with all other fizzy drinks. Is it difficult? You’d better believe it!

Shloer and I go a long way back. A long time ago my friends Jo & Alice introduced me to Shloer. At first I thought they were giving me some form of wine and I was a bit reluctant at first because I don’t drink alcohol. But what they gave me was so amazing, so superb that from that day forward, I have become addicted. Not only that, but I also decided to coin a new term;

I am a Shloerolic!

My favorite flavour is ‘White Grape’ without a doubt! Here is the description straight from the Shloer website;

Sparkling Shloer White Grape – available in 1 litre or 275ml bottles and 250ml cans
Wonderfully fresh, crisp and light. A stylish addition to any picnic or light lunch, made using the finest white grapes. Shloer White Grape is a sparkling fruit juice drink produced from premium quality white grape concentrate, sweetened with glucose syrup and blended with natural flavourings and vitamin C, to give a sophisticated adult–style soft drink. Suitable for vegetarians.

Now how can you resist something like that? Not even you vegetarians can argue with it! But what makes Shloer so good is that it gets you HYPER! Whilst something like Pepsi will keep you awake and alcohol will cause you to lose your balance and fall under the belief that signposts can be sexy, Shloer will have you bouncing off the walls! And don’t just take my word for it – I know a few people who admit that Shloer is nicer than any other alcoholic drink they’ve ever tasted.

Shortly after I was laid-off from Tesco a year ago, I began to realise that finances were starting to become a problem. In fact, they were becoming a BIG problem and I was starting to find that I could no longer afford to buy Shloer. I was desperate, I didn’t know what to do. A month had passed and I didn’t know how much longer I could hold-out. It was then that I stumbled across the Shloer website where my eyes became fixed upon all the photos of the drink that I was addicted to.

So I sent them an email;

 

From: Al Berry
To: Shloer
Sent: 11th January 2005 14:51

I am addicted to Shloer. It's great. Whilst all my friends are drinking alcohol and falling all over the place, I'm getting psyched-up, juiced-up, all from the goodness that is Shloer.

I've recently been laid-off and so I'm now unemployed which has restricted my budget which means I won't be able to receive as much shloer.

Is there perhaps any chance of a free bottle of white grape? A free can maybe? You know, just to tie me over for a bit before I go into withdrawal.

I think I'm already starting to feel the effects - the light is dimming, getting fainter... I'm not sure how much longer I can hold out without Shloer...

Please - I like the bubbles....

 

So I waited patiently, hoping that somewhere out there would be someone kind enough to help me through my withdrawal. A Shloerolic without Shloer is a shivering wreck, a fact that I’m very well aware of right now as a year on I’m going through it all over again!

But believe it or not, the very next day I received a reply!

 

From: Shloer
To: Al Berry
Sent: 12th January 2005 14:36

Dear Al

Thank you for your email. We are glad to hear that you enjoy drinking Shloer so much!

A voucher for a free bottle of Shloer will be with you shortly which we hope will stop you from going into withdrawal.

Best regards

Katherine McAuliffe
Assistant Product Manager, Shloer

 

I couldn’t believe it! Not only do I love Shloer, but I also love the whole Shloer company. I doubt she’ll ever read this, but Katherine McAuliffe – THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! All of you guys who work at Shloer are amazing!

And it wasn’t long before the voucher itself arrived. Feast your eyes on this A5 baby; [click images to enlarge]

Although I’m 22 now, at the time I was 21 years old. At that point I’d never had a girlfriend. In fact, I’d never even experienced my first kiss. 21 years old. That’s not really very cool is it? But I get to tell you all about it, so that’s kinda cool.

The night that I had my first kiss, both myself and my now ex girlfriend [pictured right] had been drinking the very same bottle of Shloer that I bought using the voucher that Shloer had given me. That’s right, the night that I had my first kiss and got my first girlfriend, both of us were heavily under the influence of Shloer!

So how do you know if you’re a Shloerolic? Well, I’ve decided to compile a list, should you ever begin to find yourself succumbing to the bubbly effects of Shloer;

1. You think about Shloer every day and night
2. Given a choice of any drink, Shloer wins hands-down every time
3. You introduce as many people to Shloer as you can
4. You never take “no” for an answer, even if that means forcing Shloer down their throats
5. You’re able to drink at least two bottles to yourself in the space of 10 minutes
6. You become so hyper that you’re positive that you can bounce off of anything
7. You feel that every moment you experience could only be enhanced by Shloer
8. You write lists of what constitutes being a Shloerolic
9. You feel the effects of withdrawal within half a week
10. You obsess about the bubbles

A friend of mine got almost as hooked on Shloer as I did. I don’t think she was ever addicted enough to be classed as a Shloerolic, but between the two of us we did manage to drink an impressive amount in the space of a month. I swear that I am not lying when I say that this was literally how much we consumed between the two of us over the course of 4 weeks (bearing in mind that this does not include the Shloer we drank at her house or straight outside shops we’d just bought them from);

One of those bottles is a bottle that I bought with the £10 I received when I had to scrap my car, ‘Tilt’ following the accident.

Last night, Dave asked me why on earth I’d given up Shloer for Lent? Well I’ve cut out all fizzy drinks as detoxing myself is a good idea and I do drink so many fizzy drinks that it’s not exactly healthy. But what about Shloer? Well the bottom line is that Lent is supposed to be about sacrificing something that’s difficult to give up. For me, Shloer is just that – and believe me, it hasn’t been easy at all! It’s not like when I was a kid and decided to give up smoking for Lent. Nah, that was easy and I’ve never smoked a day in my life since. The fact that I’ve never smoked a cigarette EVER is inconsequential – I was young and decided that giving up something that I’ve never done would just be easy.

But now that I’m older and wiser… well, older anyway, and I tend to take Lent a little more seriously.

I’m actually in withdrawal right now – I can feel it surrounding me and I feel ever so desperate to run to Tesco to pick up a bottle. But I can’t. And it’s driving me insane!!!

I really can’t wait for Lent to be over. As soon as it is, I’m clearing every single bottle of Shloer off the shelf from my local Tesco and downing it all in one go. It’s going to be expensive, but I miss it so much and it’s THAT GOOD!

Seriously, if you’ve never tried Shloer before I highly recommend that you go and find some and give it a try. You won’t regret it! If they don’t sell it in your country – get it imported! Do whatever it takes to get your hands on a bottle!

I miss the bubbles….