A goat, an email and a monkey…
By AlRight now my eyes are smouldering with the blackened smoke left from earlier when my dad regrettably burnt his meal. In otherwords, they sting like a puppy’s mother! (I didn’t want to go with the ‘B’ word so early on in a post…)
Earlier today I had a bit of a sleep. I was tired. To be honest, it’s a pattern I tend to follow quite regularly - and most who know me will know that it’s not always just when I’ve got some time free. Especially seeing as I’ve even been fired from a job for falling asleep on a conveyor belt.
Anyway, I had the most amazing dream. It was brilliant. I invented something which in essence could make me rich! I remembered it in so much detail. As soon as I woke up I ran to my notepad and scrawled down the basic design before I forgot it. I figure that later on I might be able to put it into practice and who knows - if I patent the design or whatever, then it could be the thing that makes me a millionaire?
Screw you bank debts!!!
The design is pretty simple; It’s got a couple of wheels at the back. You sit on it, and there are pedals for your feet which turn the back wheels, and there’s another wheel at the front. And the more I began to wake up the more I began to realise that I’d just invented the tricycle.
Crap. 
Over the course of this evening, I’ve been checking through my emails. If you thought that I had a problem with emails in my last post, tonight has been the last straw. But what really gets my goat is that I didn’t even get a straw. No straw at all. My goat is not happy. His name is Jeff. My goat is called Jeff.
Jeff and I like vanilla ice-cream. Vanilla is good. I’m eating it right now. It gets Jeff excited. Sometimes this means giving him sleeping pills to calm him down. If not, then Jeff might kick someone. If you got kicked, you’d get hurt. You may not like Jeff then. But Jeff is nice really. He’s a nice goat.
Do any of you like goats? If not then you might like Jeff. He’s not like most goats. Jeff likes to go swimming, but he almost drowned last month. Frank saved him. Frank is my monkey.
I have a monkey and a goat. Frank likes Jeff but Jeff doesn’t like Frank. Frank stole Jeff’s ice-cream. He was not very happy. But Frank is a good monkey. A cheeky monkey, but a good monkey. He likes goats. Do you like goats? Everyone should have a goat. Everyone should have a goat called Jeff. You could name him Geoff, but I already know a guy called Geoff, so that’s kinda like stealing someone’s name. I know a Jeff aswell. So, that would be like stealing too…
Yeah, you can’t call your goat Jeff. You could call it Reginald? Or Percy? But he’ll never be like my goat Jeff. My Jeff is great. He’s a goat, and he can run fast like this; WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH! See? That’s fast! He’s faster than Frank. Frank can’t run fast. He can swing real fast though - especially if you have a banana. You have to be careful though, because Frank’s favourite food is bananas. There was a guy who had a banana once. 10 seconds later… NO BANANA!
Instead he had a big headache. Frank’s a tough monkey. He’s actually quite a scary monkey. That’s why Jeff doesn’t like Frank. He’s not a bad monkey, he’s just bloody violent! The only reason I’m able to sleep at night is because I know something that he doesn’t…
{ { { He’s not real! } } }
Anyway, what got my goat was that I’ve received some more spam. I received one which was a bit more blatant than the last one. It came with the subject “Now you can be more popular with women”. Wow. Well, yeah. That’s great.
‘Verdie Diaz’, the unknown person who sent it to me, gave me various testimonials from people who have used whatever it is that they’re selling.
Apparently Matt from Florida has been using the product for 4 months now and his sex life has been saved because it’s increased his length from 2″ to nearly 6″. But what is this amazing product? I don’t know what it is yet? What is it that has increased his length from 2″ to 6″? Now I don’t consider myself an expert when it comes to this stuff, and I think most would consider me the least qualified to ever talk about anything related to this. But as I understand it, what usually makes a guy increase his length from 2″ to nearly 6″ is usually called an erection.
Right?!?
So I’m thinking that maybe this wonder-product is called pornography? Well let’s see what Thomas from California has to say about this product?
“My girlfriend loves the results, but she doesn’t know what I do. She thinks it’s natural”
Well Thomas, of course she’ll think that an erection is natural. The most probable reason is because it is. I think that she’ll also love the fact that you have erections because otherwise she might get paranoid into thinking that maybe you’re not interested in her? But still, if you have a girlfriend then do you really need the pornography?
Or is it just that you’re not really that interested in her?
Verdie goes on to say that you can “Pleasure your partner every time with a bigger, longer, stronger Unit”, so maybe I’m getting this all wrong and perhaps they’re selling a super-computer?!? My ex was a gamer. I’m sure that there are lots of people with girlfriend’s who are gamers. What gamer chic wouldn’t want a super-computer that was able to render almost pixar-quality games?
“Realistic gains quickly”
Nah, it’s probably pornography.
But this is the point that I really get confused. I think this is also the reason that it managed to bypass my spam filters? Now this makes absolutely no sense to me, but can someone please explain to me why it ends with an extract from
"and you can't apparate anywhere inside the buildings or grounds," said harry quickly. "hermione granger told me."
Oranjestad, Aruba, po b 1200
"yes," said dumbledore. "i am sure that once we take the horcrux, we shall find them less peaceable. however, like many creatures that dwell in cold and darkness, they fear light and warmth, which we shall therefore call to our aid should the need arise. fire, harry," dumbledore added with a smile, in response to harry's bewildered expression.
"what's up with her?" asked harry. "tom," said the girl's voice again, now so close they were clearly right beside the house, "i might be wrong, but has somebody nailed a snake to that door?" "this was your sacrifice for the dark lord, not to teach your favorite subject?" she jeered. "why did you stay there all that time, snape? still spying on dumbledore for a master you believed dead?"
Seriously - that’s exactly what the email ended with! It actually reminds me of what happens if you replace the word “wand” with the word “wang” in the first book.
In fact, what’s probably the most bizarre thing, is that judging by the date on the email - it isn’t supposed to arrive until tomorrow! 
That wasn’t the only email I got that annoyed me. In fact there’s one that’s far, far worse. It’s not spam. It’s not clever. It’s just so amazingly annoying!
And you’ll have to wait until the next post to find out what it is. 
(See, I told you it was annoying)
March 29th, 2006 at 12:20 am
lol! that is annoying. what if you lose all your fingers in a tragic goating accident and are unable to reveal this not so clever email??…i mean honestly!
March 29th, 2006 at 12:28 am
The monkey has fingers. He’ll type it.
March 29th, 2006 at 12:34 am
what if the monkey goes on strike because the worlds source of bananas die?
March 29th, 2006 at 12:37 am
Are you threatening the bananas?
March 29th, 2006 at 12:38 am
Or use your wang.
March 29th, 2006 at 12:44 am
hold the phone! are the bananas being threatened by a wang? is that why they are extinct?
March 29th, 2006 at 12:47 am
Actually, some women prefer bananas I’ve heard. Less maintenance. Can I put the phone down now or am I still holding it?
March 29th, 2006 at 12:48 am
bananas? really? hmm…
March 29th, 2006 at 12:52 am
Why do you think monkeys are always so excited? Giggity giggity.
March 29th, 2006 at 12:53 am
lmao i had nooo idea, does animal planet know about this?
March 29th, 2006 at 12:57 am
Animal Planet is behind this whole thing. It’s some kind of bizarre banana/wang conspiracy. Once bananas have taken over the world, mine will only be for show.
March 29th, 2006 at 1:09 am
:-o thats outrageous. once question though, what will be only for show?…wang or banana? :S
March 29th, 2006 at 1:52 am
Well…that depends
March 29th, 2006 at 2:18 am
on what?!?
March 29th, 2006 at 2:22 am
Hey, you stay out of this. I see through your e-mail scams and Delorean renderings. This concerns me and the banana.
March 29th, 2006 at 2:22 am
lol this could be interesting…
March 29th, 2006 at 2:24 am
im a banana!
March 29th, 2006 at 2:31 am
Now we’re talkin’! I’m a monkey!
March 29th, 2006 at 2:34 am
you’re not gonna eat me are you? :S
March 29th, 2006 at 2:44 am
Whoa…
Well, unless you have a reason for me not to. I mean, that’s what monkeys do right? I only know a few things, swinging from trees and eatin’ bananas mainly. And flingin’ poo.
March 29th, 2006 at 2:47 am
flingin poo huh? that must be a fun hobby, alas i have no poo to be flung
its a hard life being a banana. oh and im not quite ripe yet, so i’d suggest that you dont eat me
March 29th, 2006 at 2:51 am
Monkeys aren’t that picky. So I’ve heard.
March 29th, 2006 at 2:52 am
in that case, im just a girl in a banana suit, they dont eat people do they?
March 29th, 2006 at 3:12 am
I’m getting worried that the comments section on my site is becomming far more interesting than the posts themselves…
March 29th, 2006 at 3:14 am
lol as if that could ever happen!
March 29th, 2006 at 3:14 am
Bananas don’t eat people, unless they’re genetically enhanced super mutant bananas. and I’m getting worried that I’m in the mood for bananas. *winkety wink wink*
March 29th, 2006 at 3:17 am
eek!
*strips out of banana suit to reveal a duckbill platypus*
March 29th, 2006 at 3:26 am
Sorry, when I said bananas, I meant…… umm…. well yeah, bananas. Duckbill platypus probably aren’t that appetizing. I wouldn’t know, but I’m going to assume, even if it does make an ass out of u and me.
March 29th, 2006 at 3:41 am
well assumed, we’re not a very tasty species
March 29th, 2006 at 3:54 am
Yeah. You could have it worse though, you could be a human girl.
March 29th, 2006 at 3:57 am
I’m a real boy
March 29th, 2006 at 3:58 am
I’m a real man. Monkey. A man monkey, yeah… that’s it.
March 29th, 2006 at 4:05 am
does that mean evolution turned its back on you?
March 29th, 2006 at 4:09 am
Yes. I am an outcast…. from the WORLD. It is up to one man monkey, me, to rise above the rest. In time, I shall conquer those that said I was not fit to live amongst the humans. I’ll show them where they can shove their bananas. No one is safe, not even duckbill platypus or Al (who really isn’t ever safe anyway).
March 29th, 2006 at 4:16 am
huh…hows that workin out?
March 29th, 2006 at 4:21 am
help me
March 29th, 2006 at 4:22 am
*helps Al*
March 29th, 2006 at 4:22 am
Rather difficult actually. It turns out bananas were mainly meant for eating. And, as a monkey, I’m a bit smaller than most humans. Except kids. Maybe I”ll just go into hiding and live as a recluse. Nobody wants the evolutionary hindered man monkey… *sniffle*
March 29th, 2006 at 4:27 am
*nods* we dont need any evolutionary throwbacks eating all our bananas because they havent evolved enough to eat steak!…mmmm steak *dribbles*
March 29th, 2006 at 4:32 am
Filet Mignon +1
Umm… you’re drooling all over the site by the way. What’s it like being a duckbill platypus? How’s the pay?
March 29th, 2006 at 4:40 am
eh well nothing wrong with a bit of drool. pays good if you get work with warner bros, disney is tight
March 29th, 2006 at 4:42 am
Fo’ shizzle yo
March 29th, 2006 at 4:44 am
Oh wait, tight with money. I retract my last statement. Also, word on the block is that Al likes it when people come for him. Shh… tell your friends!
March 29th, 2006 at 4:45 am
lol!! yeah i heard that one
March 29th, 2006 at 4:47 am
That’s NOT what I meant. And you know it!
That was a blatant misunderstanding of the word “come”. Besides, I thought it had to be spelt “cum” to be sexual?
March 29th, 2006 at 4:47 am
*cough*
March 29th, 2006 at 4:48 am
lol nah not if you read it out loud
March 29th, 2006 at 4:48 am
You have so much to learn Al. Unfortunately, I cannot teach you. I don’t go that way.
March 29th, 2006 at 4:51 am
try not to use the word ‘come’ in an ambiguous sentence
March 29th, 2006 at 4:54 am
I think Al just shouldn’t use the word ‘come’ at all. In fact he should refrain from speaking/typing as much as possible. It does more harm than good. We’re having a discussion about goat monkeys. I mean really, one can only imagine what Al will come up with. I’m sure todays events will somehow scar me.
March 29th, 2006 at 4:59 am
please tell me why im still here!!
March 29th, 2006 at 5:04 am
Because we can’t get enough of Al right? I mean, that is why we ‘come’ here isn’t it?
March 29th, 2006 at 5:05 am
LMAO! yup, i knew there was a good reason
March 29th, 2006 at 5:10 am
I also come here for myself too. I just can’t get enough of me. It’s tough being me, but I think it’s worth it. Al enjoys it. He loves it when I come here for him.
March 29th, 2006 at 5:14 am
Also I’m rather thirsty, but I’m too enthraled by this amazing website to get up and walk the 20 feet that is needed to get a drink.
March 29th, 2006 at 5:15 am
Dude… you need to get out more. To buy Shloer. And drink Shloer. Lots of it. And don’t come [back] till you do.
March 29th, 2006 at 5:18 am
Wait, did you just say I need to get out more? What’s a boob tube again?
March 29th, 2006 at 5:19 am
Touché
March 29th, 2006 at 5:53 am
It’s back up, thank goodness! I was going through withdrawl. I was laying on the floor, it was cold and I was shaking. That’s all over now though. Nothing a dose of The Choad can’t fix! Thanks The Choad!
March 29th, 2006 at 6:24 am
wtf is going on here!
March 29th, 2006 at 8:05 am
Nothing now, because people feel like they have to sleep. What’s up with that?
March 29th, 2006 at 10:50 am
61 comments?! fark
March 29th, 2006 at 4:56 pm
8:05!?!? your nuts!!
March 29th, 2006 at 5:35 pm
It wasn’t 8:05 where I live Ms. Platypus. It was midnight! Or something. This is Chicago (Central) time we’re talking about, not crazy UK ‘the land of the word fortnight’ time.
March 29th, 2006 at 5:40 pm
Oh great, well I shoulda known that that conversation would bite me on the ass….
MSN Transcript28th Feb 2006 @ 6:05am:
<Al> well I have a plan for a fortnights time<flyakite> right...
<flyakite> how many days is a fortnight again? I forgot. Remember, I live in normal land.
<Al> huh?
<Al> 2 weeks
<Al> 14 days
<flyakite> okay
<flyakite> gotcha
<Al> what do you call 2 weeks?
<flyakite> we call it 2 weeks
<Al> wow weird
<flyakite> what do you call fourteen minutes? Or two hours?
<flyakite> why come up with another name for something already easy
<flyakite> what do you call 3 weeks?
<Al> fourteen minutes, and a movie
<flyakite> what do you call two months?
<flyakite> or two weeks is also 1/2 a month
<Al> 3 weeks = just under a month
<Al> two months = two months
<flyakite> yeah, exactly
<flyakite> two months - two months
<flyakite> 3 weeks is just under a month
<Al> ANYWAYS!
<Al> (shush!)
<flyakite> yet you come up with a whole different word for two weeks?! WHat the heck man!
<al> hey - I didn't come up with it
<flyakite> well, true
<Al> anyhoooo
<flyakite> but, I still blame you
<flyakite> okay go on
<Al> don't make me hit u
March 29th, 2006 at 5:56 pm
chicagos the windy city right? what are you guys eating that makes it so?
and fortnight is perfectly logical unlike midnight at 8:05
March 29th, 2006 at 6:04 pm
Don’t make me come over there.
It is the windy city, yes. What are we eating? Lots of air. I don’t actually live in Chicago, about 30 miles west, I just say Chicago because people understand, even if they can’t speak English.
March 29th, 2006 at 6:12 pm
Chicago’s the place with the Eiffel Tower right?
March 29th, 2006 at 6:12 pm
No, you’re thinking of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. And Big Ben.
March 29th, 2006 at 6:16 pm
I knew a Big Ben once. He was called Big Ben because he was tall and his name was Ben. It probably still is, but I haven’t seen him in ages. He and Dave shoved me in the back of a van once and drove me to Chris’s house (Chris is Dave’s twin brother). We sat outside. Big Ben got stoned. Then Chris’s dog tried to rape him. Seriously! Watching a stoner get ass-raped by a dog is hilarious.
Yet mildly terrifying.
That dog will hump anything. Apart from one time when I told him not to dare hump me. He urinated on my feet instead. Bastard.
March 29th, 2006 at 6:19 pm
Weird…. because I knew a Chris once (it’s me). He was called Chris because that is a shorter form of his full name Christopher. I see him all the time. One time, I petted a dog. Watching your self pet a dog isn’t so hilarious or terrifying. However, said dog did throw up in my lap once. That was gross.
March 29th, 2006 at 6:20 pm
things to be before i die: watch a stoner get ass raped by a dog. :S
March 29th, 2006 at 6:24 pm
You have quite the list of things to do before you die. Then again, you did once wear a banana suit, so what’s that tell ya…
March 29th, 2006 at 6:25 pm
that i have fulfilled most of my list?
March 29th, 2006 at 6:29 pm
That…. or…. umm…. so?
March 29th, 2006 at 6:30 pm
exactly…dont mess with the girl in the platypus suit, formerly know as the ‘girl in the banana suit’
March 29th, 2006 at 6:35 pm
Oh really? Or what huh? What are you going to do? Come over here in your duckbill platypus suit in a fortnights time and do something? Huh? What? Yeah, I thought so!
March 29th, 2006 at 6:38 pm
i just might do that, warner bros has some work for me on location at Franklin Park
March 29th, 2006 at 6:40 pm
I”ll come watch. I could use a good laugh.
March 29th, 2006 at 6:44 pm
well i’ll see yuo in a fornight then, which by the way is from the middle english term fortene night (meaning fourteen nights)
hows that for logical?
March 29th, 2006 at 6:47 pm
You know, if you weren’t a girl….I’d smack you or something
. Still, that is logical, but why in the world did they devise a word for 14 nights? I mean, there’s not one for 16 nights. Or 5 days and 2 minutes. It just doesn’t make sense! Lots of things in the UK don’t make sense, I mean, take Al for instance. What in the heck is he?
March 29th, 2006 at 6:48 pm
COMMENT
COMMENT
COMMENT
a little contribution
March 29th, 2006 at 6:53 pm
because 5 days and two minutes is just silly, and if i had a reallllllllly long arm and a tuna fish id slap you for the blatant use of sillyness
i mean come on…have you ever said to someone “i’ll see you in 5 days and 2 minutes” or “im going on holiday for 5 days and 2 minutes”… therefore a term for 5 days and 2 minutes is unecessary…i rest my case
March 29th, 2006 at 6:54 pm
Well first of all, it was an example. Second of all…. shush you
. I hate tuna, so keep that fish arm away from me.
March 29th, 2006 at 6:57 pm
lol! sorry, im bringing it with me in a fortnight! and just to make it extra special im gonna leave it on a radiator till then
March 29th, 2006 at 7:11 pm
Where do you live again? Because I’d make sure to lock your doors tonight if I were you girl. Bwa ha ha ha….
March 29th, 2006 at 7:59 pm
psh, if anything you should be the one whos scared!! MUHAHA
March 29th, 2006 at 8:09 pm
Oh really? And why is that? You’re just a little girl. In a duckbill platypus suit. Pfft. PUHLEASE!
March 29th, 2006 at 8:20 pm
haha thats what i have lead you to believe!! its was only toooo easy! underestimate me at your peril
March 29th, 2006 at 8:22 pm
So you’re actually a little guy? I knew it! Yes! Al, you owe me $20! Oh man wait till I tell my friends. Hoo boy, the cat’s out of the bag now!
March 29th, 2006 at 8:26 pm
lol well now im just gonna have to kick your ass
March 29th, 2006 at 8:27 pm
I’d love to see you try. Heck I’d pay, it’d be worth the entertainment
March 29th, 2006 at 8:31 pm
*kicks man-monkeys ass*
March 29th, 2006 at 8:33 pm
You know, for a little girl, I mean boy, you’re pretty strong. But you’re only embarassing yourself by trying. Trust me, Al has told me stories about you, and well, yeah….
March 29th, 2006 at 8:34 pm
Al would never tell tales about me…would you Al?!? huh huh? would ya?
March 29th, 2006 at 8:36 pm
Hahaha…. you underestimate your friends. Or those you think are your “friends”. That’s what you get for trying to mess with me. Al’s got my back!
March 29th, 2006 at 8:39 pm
:o psh…well…im not worried…can only be good stories…right…
March 29th, 2006 at 8:41 pm
Well of course. You would never do anything bad right? You’re completely innocent yeah?
*cough*
March 29th, 2006 at 8:42 pm
yes…yes i am…so innocent its almost childlike
March 29th, 2006 at 8:44 pm
Woo! I’m the 100th reply!
Umm… when was the last time you met an innocent child? Damn kids. They’re always breaking stuff, making noise, lying, creating messes, etc. If you’re childlike, then you’re about as not innocent as you can get. Nice try though!
March 29th, 2006 at 8:46 pm
dammit theres no pulling the wool over your eyes… but seriously, im so innocent, in fact my halo fitting is tomorrow
March 29th, 2006 at 8:49 pm
You can’t fool me. I’m like, the modern Sherlock Holmes, minus the accent and the mustache. And since when do halos come with a pitchfork and horns? That’s new to me. I mean, look at your gravatar. That’s some scary stuff right there.
March 29th, 2006 at 8:51 pm
oh that…thats just to hypnotise people into doing my evil bidding…but hey whats a bit of evil amongst friends?
March 29th, 2006 at 8:58 pm
Correct me if I’m wrong… but you can’t be innocent if you are hypnotising people to do your evil bidding can you? And what biddings are you having people do exactly? I won’t tell.
March 29th, 2006 at 9:01 pm
well if i told you, then youd know what i’ve been making you do. and yes, i admit that im evil, in fact i took a test which told me i was actually a psychopath.
March 29th, 2006 at 9:02 pm
Well that does NOT surprise me in the least. I knew there was something about you….. wait… hold on… what you’ve been making ME do? What?! What in the world are you doing to me? I demand answers!
March 29th, 2006 at 9:16 pm
you can demand all you want, but i’ll neeeeeever tell
and theres nothing you can do about it…who knew evil was this much fun?
March 29th, 2006 at 9:18 pm
Grr… you’re a punk. I’m going to tell Al on you! Then you’ll be in trouble. Just you wait and see. Oooohh ho yes. Watch your back, cause you’re gonna get it.
March 29th, 2006 at 9:20 pm
Haha you call that a threat? you’re losing your touch
March 29th, 2006 at 9:25 pm
Normally I wouldn’t hit girls, if that’s what you can call yourself. But for you I can make an exception. Warner Bros. back lot. 5:00. You might want to bring backup. And guns, lots of them. You’ll need them. And once you are defeated, I will reveal your evil plans to the world. It will all be over soon!
March 29th, 2006 at 9:27 pm
lol uh huh, just one question…you and who’s army?
March 29th, 2006 at 9:29 pm
Me and my muscles. That’s all I need. And lucky for you, you get a front row seat to the gun show, for free. You can’t ask for much more than that.
March 29th, 2006 at 9:36 pm
i guess i can reveal one thing for you. at approximately 3:20 this morning (british time) you ever so kindly developed a full body armour for me, which can not be penetrated by bullets,or muscle. its winging it way here as we speak
March 29th, 2006 at 9:41 pm
Yeah but you don’t know that it’s secretly booby trapped. The minute you put it on……well, I won’t ruin the surprise.
March 29th, 2006 at 9:45 pm
Does it trap her boobies?!?
March 29th, 2006 at 9:45 pm
We shall see in due time….
March 29th, 2006 at 9:46 pm
thanks for the heads up, i’ll just get my “friend” from MI5 to disable the trap
March 29th, 2006 at 9:51 pm
It has a protection mechanism in it, so if you disable it, something even worse happens. You’re screwed, sorry. Well I’m not really sorry, but you know.
March 29th, 2006 at 9:54 pm
fine, but i have something else up my sleeve. you’ll be bitch slapped before you even know its me.
March 29th, 2006 at 10:06 pm
So… are you saying you are a bitch then?
March 29th, 2006 at 10:09 pm
only till i make you my bitch of course
March 29th, 2006 at 10:17 pm
Whoa ho ho…….exactly how do you plan on doing that? That’s going to take a lot of force, I don’t give in easily.
March 29th, 2006 at 10:22 pm
well, its gonna take a wrecking ball, a catwoman suit, and a banana peel
March 29th, 2006 at 10:25 pm
That’s kind of umm… bizarre and kinky. I would ask for more details, but I think I can work it out in my head. Hmm….
March 29th, 2006 at 10:27 pm
lol really? what exactly are you picturing?
March 29th, 2006 at 10:37 pm
That’s for me to know and you to…. well, that’s for me to know.
March 30th, 2006 at 1:27 am
it just took me like 10 minutes to scroll all the way down
March 30th, 2006 at 2:00 am
Yeah, it seems to be dying though. No one is around. I think they’re all scared of me or something.
March 30th, 2006 at 4:11 am
psh scared of you…i think not!!!!
but i do feel like we have monopolised this comment section for our own evil deeds!!!!
Aplogies Al, sorry if this doesnt make any senxse!!
March 30th, 2006 at 4:48 am
Senxse? What the heck is that? I apologise for nothing! And umm… 4:11am? Isn’t your bedtime at like 9pm little girl?
March 30th, 2006 at 5:00 am
wha the fudge are you stillvdoing up!?!!?! anf why is there a question mark on myv head??? dont u ever slleeep?
March 30th, 2006 at 5:02 am
It’s 10:00pm in central time zone! Man, get off my back!
. Your typing there is attrocious. Maybe you would type better if, umm… I don’t know.
March 30th, 2006 at 5:04 am
11pm in the real timezone. EST ftw.
March 30th, 2006 at 5:07 am
maybe i am typing well!!!! maybe your reading is juist scewwy!!!!
March 30th, 2006 at 5:08 am
I feel like I was just raped by a bunch of exclamation marks… Maybe YOU’RE screwy. In fact, not maybe. Definitely. 100%. 5 out of 5 dentists agree.
March 30th, 2006 at 5:11 am
and howxoes that make youb feel?
March 30th, 2006 at 5:14 am
It hurts a little. Something I’m sure you are plenty used to. Bam! (ha, man am I awesome or what?)
March 30th, 2006 at 5:16 am
i dontv like pain so much!! i dont know what u are insinuating by the way because vi am innocent!
March 30th, 2006 at 5:18 am
Innocent girls aren’t usually up until 5:16 in the morning. I’m not insinuating anything, you’re the one who thought I meant something dirty by it. (today’s reply has been brought to you by the letter ‘v’)
March 30th, 2006 at 5:21 am
whos v? and i mikght have just woken up now because i am so innocent.
March 30th, 2006 at 5:25 am
V is a letter, hence why I said, brought to you by the LETTER v. Because in your reply before my last, you just decided to add 2 v’s to two of your words. As for innocent. Hardly. Every girl I have ever met is never innocent. That’s what they want you to believe. Damn women.
March 30th, 2006 at 5:32 am
ok fine no more v’s i am innocent from now on
but just one question…is it true that one legged ducks swim in a circle?
March 30th, 2006 at 5:35 am
No, sorry, they swim in ponds or lakes. Whoever told you that was pulling your leg. Not literally, well probably not. If they were really pulling your leg, I don’t want to know what was going on.
March 30th, 2006 at 5:39 am
haha your funny! never had my leg pulled though, intersting thougtht though. what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile?
March 30th, 2006 at 5:42 am
Hmm that is tough. I’m going to take a stab and guess that he probably said “Quick, to the Batmobile!” I’ll take ‘Crazy Random Questions’ for 200 Alex.
March 30th, 2006 at 5:51 am
he said get in the batmobile robin. now herea a really impotant question for anyone whos anyone… wolud you rather cry custard or fart confetti?
March 30th, 2006 at 5:54 am
he said get in the batmobile robin. now herea a really impotant question for anyone whos anyone… wolud you rather cry custard or fart confetti?
March 30th, 2006 at 5:54 am
Interesting, I’ve never thought about that before, but it seems so obvious. Both of course. Then you’re like a walking party. Custard and confetti? Who would say no to that?! Hop on!
March 30th, 2006 at 5:55 am
oops darn it!!! Al!! your site tricked m e again!!!
March 30th, 2006 at 5:59 am
Tricking you isn’t tough I’m sure….
March 30th, 2006 at 6:01 am
well i rfeally wish i had a comeback, but its really harcd to be witty right now
March 30th, 2006 at 6:02 am
Maybe it would help if you actually got some sleep. That’s just a guess though. What do I know? (A lot, that’s what)
March 30th, 2006 at 6:06 am
well i am kinda sleepy, but had toooo much red bulll, only a splash of vodka though…. just seen your other comment, you can onyl choose one, and it would be for the rest of your life. fart confeti or cry custard?
March 30th, 2006 at 6:09 am
Vodka + Redbull = Innocent? I’m guessing NO.
And I can only choose one? You never said that before… grr… fine. I would say cry custard, since I don’t cry too often, except when I write in my journal about kids bullying me… *sniffle*.. I mean, what? Cry? Never! I cry tears of beer, that’s how manly I am. I have to go shave my chest hair now.
March 30th, 2006 at 6:12 am
ya know the more you shave the thicker it grows
March 30th, 2006 at 6:13 am
Found that out the hard way did ya?
March 30th, 2006 at 6:16 am
yeah happened with my beard
March 30th, 2006 at 6:17 am
Haha… oh man.. I was going to say something, but for fear of getting hurt by a girl, I won’t.
March 30th, 2006 at 6:19 am
lol yeah dont even wanna know what u were thinking. is your mind permanently in the gutter
March 30th, 2006 at 6:21 am
I’m a guy. What can I say. However, the fact that you took my lack of saying something to believe it would be dirty, just goes to show that your mind is in the gutter as well. You hypocrotamous.
March 30th, 2006 at 6:23 am
thats because i know how you guys think! your not exactly what we call subtle
March 30th, 2006 at 6:26 am
Hey now, don’t be stereotyping me in with all the guys you know. I take offense to that. At least I’m not manipulative like girls are! Me: 1 - You: 0
March 30th, 2006 at 6:32 am
now whos doing the stereotyping? anyway, you stereotyped yourself!! by saying im a guy! whats the opposite of manipulative? cos that me
March 30th, 2006 at 6:37 am
Okay, I take it back. You’re not a guy. You’re a hot sexy chick? Happy now? Geeze. What’s the opposite of manipulative? I don’t know. But the real question we should be asking ourselves is, what the heck happened to your gravatar? It’s bugging me!
March 30th, 2006 at 6:58 am
By the way, I didn’t mean that, I think you’re pretty repulsive.
March 30th, 2006 at 7:04 am
there are now 164 comments to al’s post, and I still have nothing to say. This is some kind of record.
March 30th, 2006 at 7:07 am
I’m hoping with enough posts, we can crash his site. Don’t tell him I said that.
March 30th, 2006 at 7:08 am
hey al, you dont happen to get emailed everytime someone writes a new comment do you? cuz your inbox would be exploding… that would be kinda funny actually =p
March 30th, 2006 at 7:10 am
He does actually. We were talking earlier, when the site was at 128 comments, and he checked his e-mail. he was like “51 new e-mails?!”
March 30th, 2006 at 7:10 am
lol
March 30th, 2006 at 7:10 am
i wont tell =)
March 30th, 2006 at 7:11 am
This has got to be one of the oddest ways to communicate with other people, ever. Besides the tin cans stringed together. That’s just silly.
March 30th, 2006 at 7:27 am
LOL. agreed. though i hear some old african tribes dont use words to communicate. they use drums. can you imagine that? BANG BANG could mean “time for dinner.” there are def some odd methods of communication in the world…
March 30th, 2006 at 7:29 am
speaking of drums… here are the lyrics to a related song:
I don’t want to work
I want to bang on the drum all day
I don’t want to play
I just want to bang on the drum all day
Ever since I was a tiny boy
I don’t want no candy
I don’t need no toy
I took a stick and an old coffee can
I bang on that thing ’til I got
Blisters on my hand because
When I get older they think I’m a fool
The teacher told me I should stay after school
She caught me pounding on the desk with my hands
But my licks was so hot
I made the teacher wanna dance
And that’s why
Listen to this
Every day when I get home from work
I feel so frustrated
The boss is a jerk
And I get my sticks and go out to the shed
And I pound on that drum like it was the boss’s head
Because
I can bang that drum
Hey, you wanna take a bang at it?
I can do this all day
March 30th, 2006 at 7:40 am
I would love to bang on your drums. (I kidd, I kidd)
March 30th, 2006 at 9:17 am
…you have NO idea - I woke up this morning to find 61 new emails in my inbox!
March 30th, 2006 at 1:57 pm
less of the drum banging please, i have a headache!!
March 30th, 2006 at 4:36 pm
by the way i take great offence to repulsive, and also chick, because contrary to what some people might tell you, im not an animal!
March 30th, 2006 at 5:03 pm
You have a headache? Oh, I wonder why that could be….. hmm…. And I apologise, you aren’t repulsive or a chick, you’re…. I don’t know. I’ll just leave it at that.
March 30th, 2006 at 6:58 pm
…and the festivities begin again…
March 30th, 2006 at 6:59 pm
Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
March 30th, 2006 at 8:15 pm
If anyone is interested, I’m having a party tonight someplace special (hint: it’s in my pants). Everyone is invited! Ahh… boredom strikes again. I think I’ll go do some laundry.
March 30th, 2006 at 8:49 pm
ah good, atleast your pants will be clean then
March 30th, 2006 at 8:50 pm
Very good point. I never thought of that. I doubt they’ll stay clean for long though, that’s the problem.
March 30th, 2006 at 8:55 pm
lol nice
March 30th, 2006 at 8:56 pm
Indeedy. So are you coming? 9:00. Be there or be square.
March 30th, 2006 at 8:57 pm
i personally am going to test the ‘hair of the dog’ theory
March 30th, 2006 at 8:58 pm
but i really would love to come to your party, im sure Al would like to come too.
March 30th, 2006 at 9:02 pm
Okay, umm… what in the world is the ‘hair of the dog’ theory? Al can come. Everyone is invited. It will be a grand ol’ time. There will even be strippers and clowns. Or perhaps clown strippers. Or neither. Who knows? We’ll just have to see. Ooooo…
March 30th, 2006 at 9:05 pm
hair of the dog is a hangover cure, and it works by going out and drinking again, im a little sceptical but i figured id better test it out…for scientific purposes of course
theres something very sexy about clown strippers, i think its the big feet…
March 30th, 2006 at 9:08 pm
Well, you know what they say about big feet……..
March 30th, 2006 at 9:10 pm
big shooooooooes!
March 30th, 2006 at 9:12 pm
That is absolutely right! Tell her what she’s won Bob!
Today’s contestants will be receiving a years supply of dog food and a coupon for a free small drink to their favorite cheap fast food joint!
March 30th, 2006 at 9:15 pm
wohooo!!! now my parents have to let me have a puppy!! free small drink too…is that american size small or british?
March 30th, 2006 at 9:18 pm
What’s the difference? I’ve never been to Britain, not yet at least. They’re a little weird, if you know what I mean. And who said the dog food was for a puppy? (please don’t hurt me)
March 30th, 2006 at 9:21 pm
GRRRRR well make it for a puppy and no one needs to get hurt!
i have been told that american size small is the same as the british large.
March 30th, 2006 at 9:24 pm
Crazy brits. With your ‘colour’ and your ‘fortnight’ and your tea and crumpets. Okay okay, it’s for a puppy. I guess it has to be. It couldn’t be for you anyway, all you consume is alcohol it appears.
March 30th, 2006 at 9:30 pm
lol well thats just not true now is it?
and you think the brits are crazy? what about you guys with your super size meals, and your worlds biggest ball of yarn?
March 30th, 2006 at 9:32 pm
Hmm… well, you got me there. You’re right, America is pretty crazy. And with are unit system. Farenheit and miles and all that. I mean, what’s up with that? Maybe I’ll move. Australia sounds nice. I’ll catch myself a joey mate! Fosters, Australian for beer. How’s that gettin’ whored up goin’ by the way?
March 30th, 2006 at 9:35 pm
gettin’ whored up? im sure i dont know what you mean.
i dont get the unit system here either, i was brought up with celsius and kilometres.
March 30th, 2006 at 9:42 pm
Haha… oh nevermind, I was only kidding. Don’t worry about it. Try not to drink too much tonight, your typing seems to really suffer when you do. I feel bad for your keyboard.
March 30th, 2006 at 9:46 pm
lol well actually it was my friends laptop, the keys are way too close together. thats why i was typing weirdly
im not planning on drinking as much either but the drinks are cheaper tonight…uh oh
March 30th, 2006 at 10:20 pm
Lea + Cheap Drinks = Watch out boys.
And what? The keys are way too close together? How big are your hands? Are they hairy too? Do you have guy hands? Tell us the truth. What other guy parts do you have eh? Don’t spare any details!
March 30th, 2006 at 10:32 pm
lmao!! you make me sound like some sort of predator! and i dont have any other man parts…yet, i have just purchased a grow your own penis set off of ebay, so watch this space
March 30th, 2006 at 10:47 pm
That is HOT.
I’m sure that will come in handy on lonely nights. I bought one of those sets too. The way I look at it, you can never have too many. And the ladies enjoy it. On the stories I could tell. This one time, the 3 girls and this midget… haha.. oh this is good, well the mid… actually, you really had to be there for it to be funny.
Hilarious: http://www.dailywav.com/1105/bleepfest.wav
March 31st, 2006 at 3:38 am
ok, that link totally didnt work
it just pretended to work, so now im gonna have kick its ass for not working when i thought it would
is it footage from your pants party?
and when i say pants i mean pants, and not crap because pants can mean crap, but you’re american and you might not know
see im on my own keyboard and it all makes sense!!
am i right or am i right?
im right right?
March 31st, 2006 at 3:41 am
what is the longest word you know? is it 28 letters long? cos if its shorter then you suck!! boom boom
March 31st, 2006 at 3:43 am
my boy lollipop ba ba ba ba you make my heart go giddyup ba ba ba ba you are as sweet as candy… whatever whtever blah blah blah
in the land where i was born lived a man who sailed the seas and he told us of his night in the land of submarines… all together now… we all live in a yellow submarine a yellow submarine…
March 31st, 2006 at 3:46 am
How much did you have to drink woman?!
March 31st, 2006 at 3:47 am
That link does work, but you’re a girl, and technology can be difficult I understand. We’ll get through it though. And no, it’s not footage from my pants party. If you weren’t there, you don’t get to know what happened. It was an exclusive event.
March 31st, 2006 at 3:48 am
antidisestablishmentarianism is the longest word i know
March 31st, 2006 at 3:49 am
The longest word I know is supercalifragilisticexpealidocious. And it’s you that suck missy.
March 31st, 2006 at 3:50 am
aww boooooo is it over?
March 31st, 2006 at 3:50 am
thats not a real word silly!
March 31st, 2006 at 3:50 am
When it comes to my pants, the party never ends baby. Come on over. It’s just getting started.
March 31st, 2006 at 3:51 am
and i dont suck excuse me
March 31st, 2006 at 3:51 am
lol cant you come here, im kinda stuck
March 31st, 2006 at 3:54 am
I can, but that’s not where the party is. Stuck how? Are you chained up or something?
Okay a real word? I have no idea what the longest word I know is. Umm.. how about transatlanticism? Will that work for you? Do I lose?
March 31st, 2006 at 3:56 am
i thought i put a reply but it seems to have disappeared
but yes you lose because that means i win, but i will give you the victory if you have some pizza and chips
March 31st, 2006 at 4:05 am
I would love some. What kind? Also, I thought you people called them ‘crisps’? Wait, so what is your word then? You have to share!
March 31st, 2006 at 4:07 am
lol i did share…are you under the influence too?
my word is antidisestablishmentarianism
28 letters, you can count em
i call hot chips slaap chips
and crisps, chips well i used to anyway till people laughed and called me africa
March 31st, 2006 at 4:11 am
Two things;
Made me laugh when Lea replied with “big shoes”. I didn’t like being teased about big feet though. First time was when a girl noticed the size of my feet when we were swimming - she turned around and said “You look like an upside-down lamp-post!” Since then I’ve heard the general “Big feet, big idiot”. So unfair.
Secondly, in regards to the longest word - I know one from my Psychology course;
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia
(It’s a fear of long words - and I’m not joking!)
btw… it’s 36 letters. Blows your 28 letters outta the water Lea
March 31st, 2006 at 4:16 am
lol! you totally made that up.
, i cant even say that stupid word
boooooooooo
March 31st, 2006 at 4:18 am
I totally did NOT make it up. You can even check it with Google. I’m the only person in my group who could both spell it and pronounce it. When it came to our presentation on Phobias, guess who they made say all the difficult words?
Here’s a semi-phonetic breakdown of how to say it;
Hippo-pot-oh-mon-strow-sez-quip-eh-dally-oh-phobia
March 31st, 2006 at 4:19 am
omg its an actual word!!!
who’d of thunk it
March 31st, 2006 at 4:21 am
lol you rule Al!
March 31st, 2006 at 4:22 am
So true…
March 31st, 2006 at 4:26 am
hey Al howcome you had to get a longer word than me?!?! did i mention i like to win?
March 31st, 2006 at 4:32 am
Because it’s a great word. Don’t you feel blessed that you now know such a word? It’s one of those things that in the world of psychology, you know that whoever came up with the word was really bored and in need of a laugh.
Just trying asking someone who suffers from hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia what it is that they suffer from. It’s such a cruel yet funny joke to play on them.
March 31st, 2006 at 4:38 am
lol like i said Al you’re a cruel cruel guy. i dont know why i havent happened across this word since im a psychology student
March 31st, 2006 at 4:40 am
What is going on here?
What have I missed?!
March 31st, 2006 at 4:49 am
you have missed sooooo much mr flyakite
you remind me of mary poppins!!
March 31st, 2006 at 4:52 am
lets go fly a kite up to the highest heights, lets go fly a kite something something something
March 31st, 2006 at 5:04 am
I remind you of a girl? That really sucks. Man I got some catching up to do, let me read all this and see what is going on.
March 31st, 2006 at 5:08 am
By the way… “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” appears in the Oxford English Dictionary! That’s right! Kiss it!
March 31st, 2006 at 5:40 am
I just realized, if pants can mean crap over ‘there’, then does that mean you could say “Oh pants, I just pantsed my pants!”
March 31st, 2006 at 5:55 am
LOL no, thats stretching the meaning a little too far.
im sorry are you not a girl?
March 31st, 2006 at 5:59 am
by the way, christopher is a very british name
March 31st, 2006 at 6:03 am
Whoa whoa whoa. Umm… no, I am not a girl! At least, not last time I checked. And who said my name was Christopher? And who said if my name was Christopher, that that is what I normally go by? By the way, Lea is a very short name.
March 31st, 2006 at 6:05 am
ha well you said your name was chris which was a shorter version of christopher. and if you dont want to be called ‘the very bristish christopher, you should tell what you normally go by.
and yes Lea is a very short name, only 3 letters in fact, and is pronounced Lee just in case you’re thinking of calling me lee-ah. ok? glad we got that straight christopher flyakite
March 31st, 2006 at 6:07 am
My last name isn’t flyakite, nice try though. And I said my name was Chris? Damn I’ve revealed too much! Now I have to kill you. And yes, Chris is what I go by. This whole time I’ve been pronouncing it lee-ah. Maybe I’ll do it just to spite you
March 31st, 2006 at 6:09 am
aww boo, flyakite would be cool surname though. and i figured you’d be pronouncing my name wrong. your surname begins with a C doesnt it?
March 31st, 2006 at 6:14 am
Nope, it starts with a K. Nice try though. Man you know nothing about me. I’ll give you a hint, my last name is embedded in a word on this page many, many times. Let’s see if you can figure it out. Ready? Go!
March 31st, 2006 at 6:22 am
kite?
March 31st, 2006 at 6:23 am
was hoping fo a bit of alliteration
March 31st, 2006 at 6:23 am
Nice job. I’m out of prizes though, sorry. Here’s an I.O.U. though. Spend it wisely.
March 31st, 2006 at 6:26 am
what is it with you guys and your lousy prizes?
March 31st, 2006 at 6:27 am
Oh, I’m so sorry. Sheesh. What would you like then huh? I’ll see what I can do.
March 31st, 2006 at 6:30 am
anything, what does the I.O.U get me?
March 31st, 2006 at 6:31 am
Anything
March 31st, 2006 at 6:31 am
And then some
March 31st, 2006 at 6:34 am
oooh so generous, thank you
March 31st, 2006 at 6:35 am
Well, I do what I can. Also, why in the pants are you still up? Do you ever sleep? Are you a vampire? Are you going to try to suck my blood? You might not like it, it’s diet blood.
March 31st, 2006 at 6:40 am
well now im not gonna come anywhere near you. i really want to sleep, but im fighting this addiction. i think Al has performed some kind of voodoo on this site, i cant get enough. and what about you? do you sleep?
March 31st, 2006 at 6:43 am
I do sleep, but considering I live a good 7 time zones away, it’s only 11:42 pm here. In your face! Fine, don’t come near me, then you’ll never be able to get your prize. Pity.
March 31st, 2006 at 6:46 am
but i like prizes :’(
March 31st, 2006 at 6:48 am
Aww don’t cry! Well what do you want then? Let’s hear it.
March 31st, 2006 at 6:51 am
id like a pink fluffy bunny suit
March 31st, 2006 at 6:52 am
Done. What exactly do you plan on doing with said suit? I cannot be held responsible for your actions with the suit after it is out of my possession.
March 31st, 2006 at 6:53 am
oh im sorry…did i forget to mention that i wanted you in the suit?
March 31st, 2006 at 6:54 am
You definitely left that part out, but, I said anything, so into the suit I go. Boy do I look dumb. Now what?
March 31st, 2006 at 6:56 am
now you have to hop around singing ‘i’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts’…
March 31st, 2006 at 7:00 am
Okay, I’m doing it. Man I hope no one is looking…
March 31st, 2006 at 7:02 am
haha…its bad enough that im looking..trust me
March 31st, 2006 at 7:03 am
Awww… I look like an idiot don’t I? Is that it? Can I take the suit off now?
March 31st, 2006 at 7:06 am
nope, i need one up on you…smile for the camera
March 31st, 2006 at 7:07 am
If I find out that you’ve sent this picture to anyone… I’m coming for you….
March 31st, 2006 at 7:08 am
another scary threat..and on a totally unrelated topic…hope you enjoy the pics Al
March 31st, 2006 at 7:12 am
Al, I can explain. She was holding a gun to my head. She said if I didn’t do it, she’d shoot me. You’d have done the same thing right? Actually, I was practicing to be the Easter Bunny. yeah, that’s it…
March 31st, 2006 at 7:14 am
very convincing argument…not! Al come on look at his face…he thought it was kinky
March 31st, 2006 at 7:15 am
Well at least I wasn’t dressed up as catwoman…. *ahem*….
March 31st, 2006 at 7:17 am
well we all know catwoman is kinky, but a pink fluffy bunny?!? thats like one of those “special” fetishes
March 31st, 2006 at 7:18 am
And you would know all about that wouldn’t you? You’re the one who wanted me in the pink bunny suit in the first place, so ha! Explain that one!
March 31st, 2006 at 7:19 am
quite simple really, i wanted to make you look like a fool…mission accomplished i guess
March 31st, 2006 at 7:20 am
You’re mean. I’m going to go cry in the corner now.
March 31st, 2006 at 7:22 am
*points and laughs*
March 31st, 2006 at 7:24 am
Just you wait…
March 31st, 2006 at 7:25 am
*waits*
March 31st, 2006 at 7:27 am
One of these days, when you’re least expecting it, you’re going to turn around, and there I”ll be, waiting to finally get my revenge. BOO!
March 31st, 2006 at 7:29 am
oh im quaking in my boots
*quakes in boots*
March 31st, 2006 at 7:32 am
Look little girl, I’m not afraid to hurt you. I’ll dress up as a crocodile and make you pants your pants.
March 31st, 2006 at 7:40 am
ok now that IS scary!
March 31st, 2006 at 7:42 am
That’s right. Beneath this pink bunny exterior lurks a mean, lean, fightin’ machine!
March 31st, 2006 at 1:41 pm
Nice picture chris. And suuuuuure @ the gun. C’mon, I know you did it for kicks.
March 31st, 2006 at 3:59 pm
update on ‘the hair of the dog’ theory. i am hangover free today
wohooo, who knew alcohol could cure hangovers?
March 31st, 2006 at 4:38 pm
Personally, I’ve never had a single hangover in my entire life…
March 31st, 2006 at 4:52 pm
Honestly, I can say the same thing. Also, Al, get your ass online, I want to ask you something.
March 31st, 2006 at 5:02 pm
i cant say anything honestly
March 31st, 2006 at 5:09 pm
I’m not saying I don’t drink or haven’t drink, I just don’t drink to that extent *cough* Lea *cough*.
Since that one link to that audio file I posted earlier didn’t work for some certain people who are technically challenged, and since I can’t find another audio link, I’ll post what it said:
“Peter: Oh, Lois, you are so full of (BEEP)! WHAT?! Now I can’t say (BEEP) in my own (BEEP)ing house?! Great, Lois. Just (BEEP)in’ great. You know, you’re lucky you’re good at (BEEP) my (BEEP) or I’d never put up with ya. You know what I’m talking about, when you (BEEP) lubed-up (BEEP) toothpaste in my (BEEP) while you (BEEP) on a cherry (BEEP)Episcopalian (BEEP) extension cord (BEEP) wetness (BEEP) with a parking ticket. That is the best!”
March 31st, 2006 at 5:13 pm
an audio file!?! why didnt you say? my sound is bust.
you’re a beer guzzler aren’t you?
March 31st, 2006 at 5:18 pm
Your sound is bust huh? You’re not supposed to turn it up that loud when watching porn. What if the neighbors heard?
As for beer, I’m not that fond of it actually, but I’ve also heard it takes awhile to aquire a taste for it. Oh my goodness, you used the word “you’re” properly!
March 31st, 2006 at 5:24 pm
I however, am saying that I do not drink. Period. And no period jokes - done them all before. One guy I knew was thinking of getting this stawberry flavoured drink that he had, ripping off the label and replacing it with a new one that said “Period in a Bottle”.
He was sure he was onto a best seller….
March 31st, 2006 at 5:24 pm
i know! i feel under pressure now to be grammatically correct. darn you people *shakes fist*
it was my neighbours who sent me the porn.
you’re a whisky guy then? JD?
March 31st, 2006 at 5:32 pm
lol thats pretty rank! you associate with a lot of strange people Al
March 31st, 2006 at 5:37 pm
I used to never drink, and now I do, only a little socially. I don’t drink to the point where I can’t remember where I left my pants… I won’t name names…
Whiskey? Not really. And rum, definitely not. I went on this cruise two years ago in July to the Caribbean. At the Dominican Republic we took these Catamarans out to this island, and they served us rum on the boats. Oh man, that stuff is not for me. Ugh.
March 31st, 2006 at 5:41 pm
yeah rums manky.
i only drink so that i can forget that im shy, and also a crap dancer…maybe thats not such a good thing…
i dont know who goes around losing their pants
March 31st, 2006 at 5:47 pm
A crap dancer? Well this is new. Interesting…
And, I find it’s easier just to not wear pants at all, then you don’t have to worry about losing them. Really, you should try it sometime, you’d be surprised.
March 31st, 2006 at 6:16 pm
lol who said i havent tried it?
March 31st, 2006 at 6:20 pm
Ooo la la
The only problem with not wearing any pants is that you can’t really have a pants party, but really, it’s worth it I think.
March 31st, 2006 at 6:22 pm
ah good point! how about a no-pants party?
March 31st, 2006 at 6:34 pm
Hmm…. I suppose I could go for that. I’ve never been to a no-pants party before, it could be fun.
March 31st, 2006 at 6:41 pm
you dont know what you’re missing
March 31st, 2006 at 6:42 pm
You go to a lot of these I take it? Or do you just host them all?
March 31st, 2006 at 6:47 pm
i host them quite frequently…just havent had the courage to send out the invites
March 31st, 2006 at 6:53 pm
Oh, you have to be invited? Whoops…
March 31st, 2006 at 6:54 pm
haha yeah, special invite only im afraid
March 31st, 2006 at 6:56 pm
Well that’s bologna. I’m always excluded from everything. All the reindeer wouldn’t let me play any reindeer games with them last Christmas either.
March 31st, 2006 at 6:58 pm
well…ummm….you’re not a reindeer…you need the antleers to join the reindeer games.
March 31st, 2006 at 7:04 pm
Hmm…. you make a good argument. That also explains why they didn’t understand anything I was saying to them. I just thought they were being jerks.
March 31st, 2006 at 7:28 pm
well they were probably making some snide comments about ‘the silly human boy’. they have huge egos just because they work for santa once year…dont even get me started on rudolph!