Blimey
General By Al - March 30th, 2006Well, what can I say? At the time of writing, the number of comments on the last post is at a staggering 200!!!. That’s mostly due to flyakite and Lea having an argument over monkeys, bananas and what you call 2 weeks – but I’ll leave that up to you to read through if you haven’t done so already.
Which also brings me on to the first person to reach the 100th comment in a given post; flyakite! Congratulations buddy, you win absolutely nothing.
And whilst Lea rounds it up with the 200th comment, I’m afraid that there are no runner-up prizes. Sorry.
In my last post I mentioned an email that was so annoying that I was saving it until this post. Well that’s not the case anymore. Instead it’s going to be in the next post because I’m just on my way out.
Catch ya later. 
If you're enjoying reading 
Slipped in snow. Hurt my leg. Hobbled to the tube station. Missed my train. Damn you snow! 
Guus Hiddink for England manager.... 
This is awesome: 
Wow, @zavvi is pretty useless, they sent a £70 item wrapped in a thin bag! Let's see if their customer service is any good. 
New Post: "We Don't Have Enough Stage To Get Up To 88'!" by Al ~
@ | March 30th, 2006 at 9:42 pm
your a cruel cruel man Al Berry!
please can i have a prize, like even a cupcake or something?
@iMcFly | March 30th, 2006 at 9:44 pm
No, due to your grammatical misuse of the word “your”. It should start with a capital letter and should be spelt; “You’re”.
@ | March 30th, 2006 at 9:47 pm
oh bugger!!
fine, im willing to accept a raisin
@ | March 30th, 2006 at 10:21 pm
Yes! Thank you! finally someone told her. I thought about saying something but figured I better not. Leave it to Al to point out others mistakes. I love you man.
@ | March 30th, 2006 at 10:38 pm
hey! did someone forget to inform me that its pick on Lea day?
@ | March 30th, 2006 at 10:48 pm
Hey Lea, it’s pick on Lea day! Now ya know
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 3:34 am
aww thanks for letting me know. arent you lovely?
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 3:48 am
You’re welcome. Yes, I am lovely, how nice of you to notice!
@iMcFly | March 31st, 2006 at 4:14 am
I’m sorry, it’s just if there’s one grammatical error that really pisses me off, it’s the confusion between “your” and “you’re”.
I’m a cruel man. I’m not in posession of one….
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 4:50 am
you’re a cruel man, but your personality is cruel…hows that for grammatically correct?
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 4:51 am
by the way, where is my raisin?
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 5:05 am
Very good Lea, you learn so fast! Two scoops of raisin bran!
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 5:55 am
Oh man, Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr Pepper is like sex. Really good sex. And best of all, you’re not all sweaty when you’re done with it. You can’t beat that.
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 5:56 am
lol how about cherry and vanilla flavoured sex?
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 5:57 am
and why diet? are you watching your weight?
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 5:57 am
can you flavour sex? or is that just condoms? see i dont know because im so innocent
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 6:01 am
*cough* bullcrap *cough*
Flavour sex? I don’t know. There’s always whipped cream though.
Why not drink diet? I really like it now. I used to hate it. I figure, if I’m drinking 5 sodas a day or more, why drink regular? That’s like 600 calories! So now I drink diet or water. Got a problem with that girly?
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 6:07 am
yes mucho problemo. diet sucks!! its so gassy and doesnt give you a sugar rush = perfectly pointless
and who are you callling girly?
and why are you calorie counting, are you sure you’re not a girl?
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 6:09 am
Hey, I used to think diet sucks too. But then I got used to it, and now I love it. So, umm… shut it! You, of all people, don’t seem like you need anymore sugar than you already have. And I’m calling you girly, chick. I’m not calorie counting, I’m just, whatever
. I’m positive I’m not a girl, I can prove it.
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 6:10 am
lol go on then…prove it
why dont i need any more sugar?
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 6:12 am
You weren’t supposed to call me on that, crap. Well, I can’t prove it through typing, so you’ll just have to trust me. But believe me, it’s there. Maybe I can find some other women to vouch for me.
As for sugar, well, you’re already sweet enough right? (oh man, that made even me laugh… whoo…)
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 6:21 am
lol someone pass me a sick bag!
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 6:23 am
Ewww gross. Don’t get any on me please, I don’t want to get contaminated.
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 6:27 am
too late…its in your shoes
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 6:28 am
Fine. I’ll pants on your shoes to make it even then.
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 6:30 am
Actually better yet, I put this in your shoes: upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/8b/Scolopendra_gigantea.jpg
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 6:31 am
lmao thats so not even, you’ve crossed a line Christopher (very british) Kite
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 6:33 am
lol thats not very nice
i found 50p in my boot last night, that was a better prize
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 6:34 am
What line Ms. Lea SomeRandomMadeUpLastName? Maybe I am british. The brits would be proud to have me among them. I am a model citizen. People everywhere say to their children “Why can’t you be more like that Chris Kite fellow? He’s a fine young gentlemen”
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 6:38 am
uhhh hate to break to you Kite-man but you are seriously deluded. hows my typing by the way? fabulous isnt it?
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 6:39 am
What were you doing with that in your boot huh? Probably something illegal. I can only imagine. How was the pizza by the way? I wouldn’t know, I didn’t get any. thanks a lot!
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 6:41 am
Deluded why? You don’t think I’m super awesome? That hurts Lea, really. Your typing is fabulous, yes. In fact, I’d even say spectacular. Tell your secretary she’s doing a stand up job.
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 6:42 am
the pizza was so deliciously cheesy! mmm mmm mmm the tastiest pizza i have ever had in fact, and the chips were just to die for. and i had 50p in my boot because i dropped my bag, and loadsa change came out, and i felt the money in my boot about 2 hours later…true story
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 6:44 am
wohoo! my secretary is male by the way. and no you are not super awesome, you are fan dabby tastic
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 6:45 am
You’re lying. I bet the food sucked. You just want to make me jealous. Well it’s not working. I won’t fall for your trap. And that is an awesome story. Keeps you on the edge of your seat till the very end. I’ll be passing that one down to my grandchildren someday.
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 6:52 am
and it was only a half lie, by the time it was ready i didnt have the munchies anymore, so it was only half appreciated
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 6:53 am
See, you did lie. You little liar. What else have you lied about huh? I demand to know!
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 6:55 am
oh god dont get me started on my lies, it might be quicker to go through my truths list
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 6:56 am
Wow… well that’s interesting. Okay, so let’s hear the truths then. Who are you really? You didn’t really have any pizza at all did you? What is going on?!
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 6:57 am
Girls are such manipulative liars. I was right, see. Me: 2 – Lea: 0
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 6:58 am
NOOOOOOO the last thing i meant to do was prove you right!
ask me no questions, i’ll tell you no lies
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 7:01 am
Wait, so I am right? Whoooeee!!! Awesome! I gotta tell someone. It’s like it’s my birthday, minus the presents. And cake. And strippers.
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 7:05 am
whoa!! no one said you were right! its just because im sleepy, i really should go to bed because i have weird dreams in the daylight, like the other day during one of my afternoon naps…yes i like napping…i was bitten by a crocodile who proceeded to chase me through the house…scary shit
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 7:06 am
That’s odd. Did he get you? Maybe you should see a psychiatrist. If you can’t afford it, I’ll do it.
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 7:06 am
lol go on then mr psychiatrist, i cant afford a real one since im a student, im skint
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 7:07 am
yes he did get me, i had to grab his jaws with my hands and they got bitten pretty bad
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 7:09 am
Ouch. Who won though? I take it you right, cause you’re still here. Boy, I’d hate to see that crocodile. I’ll make sure to keep my distance.
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 7:12 am
i could be mistaken though, it could have been an alligator, i forget how to tell the difference…and yes i won, because i jumped on the bed, grabbed the covers and threw them over the croc, who went crazy, dont think he was too happy! so i jumped on him, then ran away
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 7:14 am
You jumped on him? That doesn’t seem like a wise thing to do. Then again, it is you, so I guess everything goes. Or, maybe he looked at you and that scared him away! (haha, you can’t hit me, you’re far away!)
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 7:18 am
*slaps chris with a wet tuna fish…twice*
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 7:20 am
Oww… that hurt… and yet, there’s something kind of kinky about getting slapped with a wet tuna fish…. hmm…
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 7:21 am
you do realise that tuna is 2 days old
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 7:23 am
I do now. I need to go shower to get the smell off me now. Maybe I’ll shower with bleach.
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 7:24 am
ouchie
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 7:29 am
Some guy on my messenger list just said “Hey, is it a weird fetish to smell girls panties?”. Umm… wtf?!
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 7:31 am
lol shock shock horror horror that hes on your list
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 7:34 am
Is that sarcasm? What is that supposed to mean? That I’m the same? I don’t go around smelling girls panties thank you very much. Also, I didn’t add him. There’s a lot of people on my list, they can’t all be normal. Don’t be jealous because you’re not on it. It’s very exclusive, like a party. Like a very exclusive party. You’re not invited.
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 7:39 am
sarcasm? me? nah you must have me mistaken for someone else. its ok…im used to not being invited to parties :’(
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 7:42 am
I’d invite you, but then I’d feel obligated to invite everyone else too, and I’m just not that nice. Not being invited to parties huh? My lie detector is going off the charts. I invited you to the pants party and you didn’t even come. How rude. I tried to do something nice, but noooo…
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 11:57 am
FLYAKITE SHUTUP ALREADY!
@iMcFly | March 31st, 2006 at 1:35 pm
Would you two like a room?!?
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 2:29 pm
lol! a double if you dont mind, and chocolate mints on the pillows wouldnt go amiss
by the way you cant fool me! theres no such thing as a lie detector, and if you were that nice, you would have brought the pants party to me
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 5:02 pm
Mmm…..mints, especially Ande’s Mints, that is some good stuff. And umm.. hello… there is a such thing as a lie detector, it’s called a polygraph test. A little less drinky drinky and a little more read-e read-e.
A double? Then where’s Al gonna sleep? Poor guy.
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 5:08 pm
actually i think youll find that the polygraph doesnt detect lies, only changes in physiology. and its only like 70% accurate which is shit really. and if you give me 10 minutes and a big double chocolate fudge cake i’ll show you how cheat the polygraph. easy peasy lemon squeezy.
ok, i’ll spring for a king size
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 5:25 pm
Alright Al, hop in!
Also, yes of course I know the polygraph doesn’t actually detect lies, I was just using it to try to make what I said right, and you wrong. You seem to know a lot about polygraphs… why is that? Does the cake help cheat the polygraph? Do you throw it at the machine and yell swear words at it?
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 5:30 pm
lol no, the cake is for me, basically payment for the knowledge i can impart. you should know by now that im always right
if i told why im so wise, i would have to get out the tuna fish again, and we dont want that now do we?
oh and i dont swear…im a lady
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 5:43 pm
The cake is for you? Are you planning on sharing?
You don’t swear? That’s not what the neighbors said….. *insert drum and cymbal crash here*
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 6:15 pm
it takes a very special person to come between a girl and her chocolate cake.
the neighbours know shit.
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 6:22 pm
So… what.. does that mean you’re not sharing?
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 6:41 pm
uhhhh, i guess i could really, if its a really big cake
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 6:45 pm
Oh no no, I’d hate to take some of your beloved cake. Eat it all. I have to watch my calories anyway
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 6:46 pm
lol of course. i watch my calories too, i watch ‘em go straight into my belly
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 6:52 pm
Well, at least they don’t go to your ass I guess. Do you have a beer belly as well?
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 6:57 pm
that would imply that i drink beer
do your calories go straight to your butt?
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 7:00 pm
So you don’t drink beer? You never said that. I’m not psychic you know. No, my calories do not go to my butt. Or my hips, or my thighs. I’m a guy, not a little girl.
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 7:21 pm
nooo beer is skanky, i cant even drink it when im already drunk! where exactly do your calories go then?
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 11:24 pm
Is there a prize for 77th comment? Seeing as it’s the same number twice and most peoples lucky number*.
*not necessarily factually correct.
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 11:40 pm
flyakite, im still waiting for an analysis of lea’s crocodile dream… you are the appointed psychiatrist afterall.. What does the dream mean???
@ | March 31st, 2006 at 11:58 pm
Being chased my a croc indicates good luck to come, however, being caught or injured by the croc means you are in for a painful dissapointment.
If it was an alligator then the dream is alerting you to an enemy.
Being biten by an animal means you may uncover a secret you’d rather not know. Maybe don’t pry into others affairs.
@ | April 1st, 2006 at 12:07 am
oh bugger!! thanks for that cheery analysis..can i get a second opinion please
@iMcFly | April 1st, 2006 at 2:04 am
Your second opinion:
A crocodile is going to come into your house and eat you.
There I said it.
@ | April 1st, 2006 at 2:06 am
I’ll just have to make sure i give it indigestion
@ | April 1st, 2006 at 3:38 am
I just saw a movie and had filet mignon for dinner. Ha!
@ | April 1st, 2006 at 6:36 am
Oh, and the steak was delicious. And they had these rolls, with this honey cinammon butter. It was to die for. And I had a diet Coke or Pepsi, and I don’t care what any of you say.
As for my analysis of Lea’s dream, well, I think Annabelle’s explanation is good enough. I can’t even try to beat that. I can admit defeat. Also, I’m too tired to come up with something good. But just know this, if I wasn’t too tired, it would have blown your minds.
@ | April 1st, 2006 at 10:18 am
Sorry flyakite I actually copied it out of a dream anaysis book so zero points for me on originality!
Don’t worry Lea it also told me I’d come into money and fall in love so it lies!
@ | April 1st, 2006 at 4:10 pm
mmmm steak….you had to rub it in didnt you flyakite?
Thanks all for the dream interpretations, but for now, i will stay safe in my opinion that dreams dont mean anything
so sorry mr croc but no feast for you!
@ | April 1st, 2006 at 4:37 pm
I just had a weird dream last night. I dont’ remember much of it (that seems to happen with my dreams), all I remember was that I was at some hotel with some old friends from high school way back, and I got arrested for something. I know, great story.
@ | April 1st, 2006 at 4:53 pm
were you with a hooker who was actually an undercover policewoman?
@ | April 1st, 2006 at 5:10 pm
No, I was with a policewoman who was actually an undercover hooker.
@ | April 1st, 2006 at 6:05 pm
okay more dream analysis… the book says being arrested means you will have a sharp dissapointment….followed closely by an unexpected joy! woohoo!
@ | April 1st, 2006 at 6:29 pm
I’m not sure whether that is bad news, or good news.
@ | April 1st, 2006 at 7:08 pm
I think both. You’ll have to let me know if any of these predictions come true! Mind you that’s quite broad….
@iMcFly | April 1st, 2006 at 7:36 pm
Lea: I still think that a crocodile is going to come into your house.
And eat you.
@ | April 1st, 2006 at 9:51 pm
:’( why why why?