Last night I was txting my good friend Helen and she asked me what I was up to. Well at the time I was watching South Park in bed, txting her and on a completely unrelated train of thought was pondering as to how much it would hurt to have angry ticks fly out of my nipples?

Apparently it hurts a lot. To my horror and surprise, she’s experienced it.

“Long story short; the ticks disguised themselves as elephants”.

Damn those ticks and their excellent dusguise techniques.

Anyway, this morning (after a bizarre dream featuring Winnie-the-pooh and hefalumps) I began to ponder yet another question. It’s a well known fact that we are 90% water, but what if we were 90% milk instead?

Would we still need nipples?

As far as I’m aware, I don’t need mine. I’m beginning to suspect that maybe I’m made out of 90% milk. But the really big question I have is…

…pasteurised or semi-skimmed? :|