I apologise for the lack of content as of recently; my Grandma has become very ill recently with cancer and may only have 2 weeks at the most. I stayed over at her house last night with my Grandpa.

When everyone had gone to bed I decided to play The Sims 2 on my phone. Now, the last time I played this game I had met a girl, flirted with her, hugged her, kissed her, invited her to move in and married her then slept with her all on the same day. Sheesh. I do however, believe that things were moving a bit too quickly…

She started to demand things. I gave her what she wanted. She eventually asked for a coffee machine, so I bought her a coffee machine. The moment I bought it she filed for divorce and left me. She only wanted me for the coffee machine

But I talked to her, we worked things out she moved in for a bit and it wasn’t long before we got re-married. Things were working out okay, but she kept leaving to go to work and we never spoke. She started demanding more things; this time a §1000 extension when I only had §250. So I decided to have a seperation.

But it wouldn’t let me tell her to leave, so instead I decided to go the full hog and file for divorce.

“You can’t afford to do that”

I kid you not, for that is the message that I was presented with. I tried again, but still I could not divorce her. But it’s right, with only §250 I didn’t have the money to pay settlement fees, etc. So I decided to take another approach.

I started talking to her about politics. Now I know how much she hates politics (I almost screwed up the engagement by talking about such things) and she began to dislike me. I then decided to gossip about her best friend; she began to like me even less. Then I gossiped about her infront of her face.

Everything was going according to plan - she was starting to dislike me and it wouldn’t be long before she hated me. But something went wrong, because she got bored and started blanking me. So, knowing that she didn’t like dirty jokes, I decided to tell her a few. But things had changed since the last time we were married - and now she loves them! So I tried a clean joke, but she still loves those too. I tried gossiping about other people, but she liked to gossip about them. She also loved every other topic I spoke to her about. And then I accidentally had sex with her.

I don’t know how it happened, I was just desperate for her to hate me and my finger slipped and hit the “sleep-over” option (which results in a “woohoo!” message). But not to worry, I thought, because seeing as we’d only done it the day we got married maybe performance-wise she’d hate me for a dissapointing night. Turns out I was wrong and she loved me as much as she could.

So I tried to divorce her once again. But once again, I was presented with;

“You can’t afford to do that”

I decided to invite my friends Ben and John around. They’re really good friends, especially as they came rushing straight over at 4:30am. But I wasn’t in the mood and couldn’t talk to them. Eventually they left, but I called them straight back. Ben came over immediately but John refused to. I called him again and then he came back over, but still I couldn’t talk to them. One of the reasons was that I needed the toilet real bad but was too depressed about my marriage to go. Ben and John left once more as I’d not said a word to them. Once again, I got lonely and called them back (John taking a second plea to get him to come out). They’re great, but they must have been really bored just standing there.

I tried to divorce my wife for a fourth time, thinking maybe with Ben and John around I might be able to. But I was told once again that I couldn’t afford to do it.

Ben and John left. I wet myself. I refused to clean myself. I got hungry. I couldn’t take it any more.

So I starved myself.

And died.

It was the only way out of my marriage I could find…

I turned off my phone and went to bed. I then had a strange dream about meeting a little girl with a teddy bear. We played together with her toys and had a great time, but she was sad for her bear.

Me and a few people went off in search for the bear’s mother. We travelled far and wide in search for the mother, until one day we ended up in a strange building in the middle of nowhere. It was grand, with a mahogany interior. We decided to stay put in the lobby. After a while we decided to proceed into the adjoining rooms of the house. We came back and mapped everything out, but one of our members did not return.

So we waited.

He came back, screaming of terrible things he had seen before passing out. One of the guys headed into the room he’d explored, only to come back immediately, saying it had changed.

We proceeded together. The house was huge; it felt about 10 times the size of a mansion. The map we’d drawn didn’t seem to resemble anything we’d seen. We entered the kitchen and went through to a large, empty hall. We turned back around, but the kitchen had gone. Instead we were in a hallway filled with giant statues. Suddenly the statues came to life and chased us around the house. They seemed familiar, as though I’d seen them before.

We continued running around the house, but the layout was being reconfigured all the time. A room full of dolls came to life and suddenly I realised what was happening, but the guy I was with had dissapeared. I ran through the house, shouting for anyone I could find. The statues and dolls were chasing me, trying to stop me. A girl and guy from my group were being held by a couple of them; so I grabbed some swords from the shield attached to the wall and freed them.

We found a window and went outside and climed to the top of the roof. It was stormy weather and thet top was like a dome with a spire. There was lightening and I gathered everyone around and told them what was happening;

“It’s the little girl - we’re inside her mind! That’s why nothing makes sense, that’s why the house is reconfiguring itself; all these statues, dolls, creatures, they’re all toys from her room!”

We created a rudimentary device which we attached to the spire, but the more we tried the harder the wind blew until we saw the girl, drenched from head to toe, carrying the toy bear under her arm. And suddenly, it all became clear.

Behind her were 6 bears. I couldn’t figure out where I knew them from, but suddenly I realised; they were the bears outside! They had corrupted her in order to trap us! They attacked my entire group, decapitating them, ripping them to pieces. One of them grabbed my legs and just moments before it was ripped from my body I threw the switch. Lightning hit the spire and dispersed into the little girl and everything went into a bright white.

After my vision came back, everything was still white, as though we were in an empty room. Just me and the little girl. I went over to her. I reached out to her, some static jumped between her forhead and my fingers…

…and then I was awoken by nurses coming into my grandma’s house. I immediately fell asleep, and returned to the white room, but I was all alone. The little girl had gone. The room started to merge with my grandparents house and I noticed something out of place, but yet it felt comfortable, as though it had always existed there. In the room there was an igloo. I looked at it from my chair which I’d been asleep in. I wanted to get up to go inside, but the moment I did my open eyes opened and I realised that they’d been shut and that I’d been asleep and that the igloo wasn’t there anymore.

My Grandma was amused about my dissapointment when I told her about it later, although I confused her a lot when I told her that if I had a pet monkey that I would name it Professor Snugglesworth.

It was the weirdest night’s sleep I’ve ever had. The bears outside nearly got me, but I managed to fight them off. Something tells me that this won’t be the last I’ll hear from them.

I hate the bears outside. At least I managed to get out of my awful marriage though…

Maybe I should start taking drugs and see what that does?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 26th, 2006 at 9:36 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.