That’s right fellow Choadateers, Chodinions, Choadaholics and general Choadsters; after a whole month I return once again to give you an excuse to waste precious hours of your life which by the time you turn 80 you will want to sue me for and claim back. Well tough luck because unfortunately for you I don’t dish out receipts.

So first of all, my dissapearance; well first of all both Dave and I found we were having a busy week (especially since he’s got a new girlfriend now) and we managed to finally find time to do an episode of The Choad Show, but my Mac Mini (which avid readers will know as ‘Steve’) stopped making sounds so we couldn’t hear back what we’d recorded – which didn’t help in the middle of a sketch. So we decided to put it on hold. (Don’t worry; a quick hardware-reset and he’s working again. Now there’s a fix you can’t do on a PC…)

I also went to see my friend in his first gig with his new band and it went really well, until two days after when the drummer quit. Following that everyone else started to quit and so the band is over, but my mate and the guitarist are starting up a new band and their early music sounds great. We’ll be playing some of it on The Choad Show once they’ve finished recording their songs.

I also got to see a couple of other bands who you’ll be hearing music from on the show in the not-so-distant future (as opposed to the distinctly-far-distant future where you unsuccessfuly sue me).

And then something really bad happened involving a gigantic raging homicidle blood-thirsty wildebeest* and a viral infection. To cut a long story short, I got a viral infection which left me in bed for about a week and a half. At times I barely had the energy to even get out of bed.

Since then I’ve just been busy with one thing or another. I’m helping out backstage in a show at the theatre, I’ve been working on one of my scripts and spending time with friend’s I’ve not seen for a while. One of my friends came over on Sunday and I went to support her whilst she ran a half marathon – she did really well! I was jumping up and down at the finish line waiting for her. I was all giddy like a kid but I didn’t care; I just kept telling people “She’s number 516!”.

They had a couple of races that day running simultaneously; the half marathon and a quarter marathon. One guy was doing the half-marathon and accidentally took a wrong turn and to his dissapointment ended up doing the quarter-marathon instead. Another guy was coming close to the finish line when some kid jumped out and kicked him in the ass! That dude was in agony as he tried to finish the race. Fortunately the kid got shouted at by one of the guys running the whole event. Pity they didn’t unleash flesh-eating weasels all over his face though…

Anyhoo, some of you are probably wondering what’s happening with the show? Well Dave suggested to me at one point that just like a television series, we should have seasons. Seeing as this is probably our longest break (and if it isn’t, it sure feels like it) we’ve been talking and working things out and we’ve decided that 10 weekly episodes (which is how many we’ve done so far) is enough to count as a full season, after which we’ll have a break which will give us time to relax and write better sketches for you to enjoy. So from now on we’ll be doing 10 weekly shows at a time (and Dave’s hopefully going to be around this time to keep the weekly schedule, otherwise I’m likely to get mind-raped by Woogie). So stay tuned for Season 2…

I have someone I’d like to introduce you to. As you know, I’m quite fond of Steve, my Mac Mini [insert rap from Episode 2 here]. What you might not know is that I’ve named every computer in my house; and there’s a lot of them. Why? Well when you add a computer to a network each one needs a name, so it makes sense to name them to keep track of them. Here’s how I’ve come up with mine.

Warning: If you suffer from aversion to geekery then please look away now. We are not responsible for any seizures you suffer from reading the following, but should you begin foaming at the mouth please remember to contact your local emergency service or pizza delivery service before losing consciousness. Thank you.

• Steve: My Apple Mac Mini.
  Named after co-founder of Apple; Steve Jobs.
• Woz: My mac-modified Windows XP PC.
  Named after the other co-founder of Apple; Steve “Woz” Wozniak (mainly due to the nature of the way I’ve themed XP to look and asthetically act like OS X)
• Andy: My multimedia server
  Named after a key member of the Macintosh team; Andy Hertzfeld
• Lisa: My Windows 98 PC, used only for retro gaming
  Named after the first computer to have a GUI and mouse; The Apple Lisa (which Steve Jobs bizarrely named after his first daughter, even though he didn’t really want to acknowledge her existance at the time).
• Edith: My Grandpa’s old PC that he gave to me which I plan to use parts from to repair Woz after frying his motherboard (Oops!).
  Named after my Grandmother who died only a couple of weeks before I received the computer.

And it doesn’t stop there. Besides having an old 286 portable Compaq computer and an Acorn A4000 (I really regret taking my Commodore 64 to pieces), both of which are unnamed, I have another computer. That’s right; I recently went a bit mad on eBay and bought myself an iBook.

So please allow me to introduce;

Professor Snugglesworth
(I kid you not!)

He’s an Apple iBook G4, and while still not as good as Steve, having a mac that’s truly portable is brilliant. It has built-in wireless, which has allowed me to write this entire post from the comfort of my own toilet. Why?

Because I can.

…What?!? :erm:

Fine, sue me!

* Events may contain less gigantic raging homicidle blood-thirsty wildebeests than originally specified