At the risk of turning this blog into a record of my dreams, I’ve been having nothing but weird dreams lately - Many of them involving such weird things as actor Rob LaBelle as a con artist on a beach who manages to make people believe that when someone’s stood on a small stage he’s built, he’s able to turn them into a fountain (without revealing that he’s just putting a kink in the hose when no-body’s there). Then I found myself quoting myself from our Road Trip episode of The Choad Show as a way of arguing with Rob LaBelle to convince his “followers” after he started his own human-fountain religion that it was all a con; “IT’S NOT A FUCKING FOUNTAIN!!!”

I somehow managed to start a religious war by saying that. Weird.

I’ve also had to fight for my life on a toilet….

I entered the gents bathroom, went over to the cubicle, opened the door, and proceeded to sit on the toilet. Everything seemed fine and normal and as far as I was aware, I’d taken the correct “Approaching a toilet” procedure. But what was different about this particular toilet was that it was about three times larger than a regular toilet. I began to slip. I fell backwards and my hands that were grabbing ever so tightly to the rim of the seat lost their grip and I fell head-first into the toilet.

But suddenly, at the last moment my feet managed to get a foot-hold on the toilet seat and the plummet to my death had been averted. Although, I was left hanging upside down inside a giant toilet. Just when I thought things couldn’t get worse, I suddenly realized that my nose was bleeding - and not just a little either.

Blood was dripping down into my hair and also down my throat to the point that I couldn’t breath. So not only was I trapped, upside down in a giant toilet, but I couldn’t breath either. With my final gasp of breath, I reached up and managed to grab a hold of the rim and pull myself back up.

This left me with a slight problem. I returned to a large group of people with blood, mixed with thick mucus, all down my front - and it had solidified like thick candle wax. Nice.

In another dream I found myself in my car. I tried to overtake someone on a road and I can’t remember clearly why I shouldn’t have done it, but I know that I shouldn’t because a couple of days later the police tracked me down and it turns out that there was a police car who witnessed it. For overtaking when I shouldn’t have, I was fined something like £3,000 and my drivers license was revoked. I took it to court but I got fined more and thrown in prison for not being able to pay the fine.

They’re even bigger bastards in my dreams than in real life!

Another night I dreamt about being cryogenically frozen. The weird thing is that when I woke up I still believed I was cryogenically frozen. Suffice to say, by the time I’d thawed I was late for work.

I’m quite often half-awake like that. When I wake up in the morning, my alarm manifests itself as all sorts of things. Sometimes it’s a bomb that needs to be defused, at other times it’s a warning alarm to tell me that my ship is under attack, and there’s even been once that I’ve been a robot and it was my robotic mother shouting at me.

What I find worrying is that these are just the ones I can remember - there have been many more that have freaked me out but as time goes on I’ve forgotten what happened in them.

This next one didn’t happen recently, but I’ve once had my alarm go off and I’ve woken up in a state of massive panic because I dreamt I’d ended up in hospital and I thought it was my heart monitor reporting that I was dead.

It’s not always bad things though. Sometimes my subconscious completely ignores it or converts it into something nice like a singing bunny of sorts. Thankfully not like the bunnies outside that they have in the south - they were evil! I’m surprised I haven’t had a dream about a war between the bunnies outside and the bears outside - but I think that it’s because it would probably be so scary that I’d end up in a coma.

I think it would be great to be in a coma. Think about it, you don’t have to do anything, you can spend all day relaxing in bed and people always come to visit and talk to you, and if you’re lucky you have some sort of trippy experience where various aspects of your personality manifest themselves as people you know. And as far as I’m aware, I think it makes you exempt from having to complete your tax returns…

In regards to The Choad Show, things are progressing probably faster than we expected. As you may or may not know, in addition to our short intro-sketches we’re wanting to have full sketches in some of our episodes. We’re wanting to have a minimum of five scripts completed with a couple recorded before Season 2 starts. To give you an idea of where we’re up to (and why posts still aren’t daily on here like they used to be), I’ve written one script, I’ve almost finished a second, Dave and I have both collaborated on one of his scripts which is now complete and he’s just starting his second one which brings us to a grand total of 4.

We’re also getting a number of bands to provide music for the show so that there’ll be a greater variety to listen to - but we’re still looking so if you’re in a band or know anyone in one and you’d like to have your/their music featured on the show then please get in touch.

And with that all said and done, I’m going to leave you with this short message;

Waffles may be made out of potatoes, but that’s no reason to decapitate your land-lady with a pitch-fork (unless of course your waffles have rabies).

:)

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 1st, 2007 at 11:52 am and is filed under Site-Related, General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.