I’ve always been a Superman fan ever since I was a kid. Sure, I loved Batman and Spider-Man and The Flash and the Hulk and The X-Men amongst other such classic superheroes – but my loyalties always lied with the Man of Steel.

My Grandma had made various superhero costumes for me to wear during my early years; my Superman costume was the one I was most proud of (and bless my grandmother, who made two of them after my six-year-old self got upset that the ‘S’ had been done incorrectly on the first version). I once got in trouble from my Dad after he discovered that I’d stolen one of his suits. I was wearing it over my Superman costume so that I could pretend that I was Clark Kent. I got in even more trouble when he found that I’d accidentally ripped the buttons off when turning into Superman and had also left grass stains all over the suit from my failed attempts at flying in the backyard.

My parents were never able to properly ground me. If I was grounded to my room then I had my computer, my books, my toys, my music, my TV, videos, everything. If I was banished from my room then I’d play in the garden and in the tree or play on the furniture or with my mother’s antiques. If I was banished from the house then I’d go play with friends or go cycling and explore the local fields and woods nearby. If things were taken from me, then I’d always at least have my imagination and thoughts.

And a lot of the time when I was a kid, I thought about being a superhero. I figured it would be the best job in the world. It just sucked that I didn’t have the pre-requisite of having a real super power [or enough money to buy myself a lair and a butt-load of high-tech gadgets].

Now I’m older. I’m wiser. I’m still clumsy and still trip over things / onto things / into things, but up until this point in my life I still don’t have a super power and I’m not yet allergic to kryptonite (as far as I’m aware).

About a week ago I saw a colleague who was majorly freaking out. He wasn’t making much sense, talking about some guy whose eyes were going into spasm. For the sake of anonymity, we’ll call him Bill. Another colleague (who we’ll call Ted) approached me and tried to calmly explain the situation. He was interrupted by Bill, saying “Have you ever seen someone do this before!?” and prompted Ted to demonstrate the act that had freaked him out in the first place.

Ted looked at me. His eyes then started to oscillate, shaking back and forth at an intensely rapid rate.

I replied; “So that’s what it looks like?”.

If you think that Bill was freaked out before, then you should have seen the look on his face when I immediately proceeded to do the same thing with my eyes too.

I had never met anyone who could do it before. I didn’t even know what it looked like. But it’s something that I’ve been able to do ever since I was a child. I first discovered it when I was pretending to be Johnny 5 from Short Circuit, whilst trying to imitate the scenes where he tries to read books really really fast.

The other day, Ted introduced me to Rufus (another fellow whose name I shall not reveal, if only to protect his secret identity), who apparently can also perform this act which Ted reliably informs me is called Nystagmus.

According to Wikipedia;

Nystagmus /nɪˈstæɡməs/ is a condition of involuntary eye movement, acquired in infancy or later in life, that may result in reduced or limited vision.

There are two key forms of Nystagmus: pathological and physiological, with variations within each type. Nystagmus may be caused by congenital disorders, acquired or central nervous system disorders, toxicity, pharmaceutical drugs or alcohol. Previously considered untreatable, in recent years several pharmaceutical drugs have been identified for treatment of Nystagmus.

Read more…

However, I don’t have a nervous system disorder. I don’t need toxins, pharmaceutical drugs or alcohol. What is an involuntary condition for some is something that I can do whenever I want. I am apparently one of a small percentage of people who can “activate” this condition voluntarily, at will.

And now I’m finding other people who have this ability too. We’re like The Justice League! Soon we’ll be able to join forces and fight crime, protect the innocent, and work for world peace!

Now that my childhood dreams are starting to come true, all I need to do is figure out how on Earth I’m going to use this super power for good.

I wonder what happens if I try and make my ears wiggle at the same time…?